Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
You know what they say. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Just kidding, that's awkward as hell any way you slice it.
blondebrunette11 4
Did he wink when he said "Son" ..?
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Comments (149)
NYCZO 0
Gross! Just don't sit on that chair ... Ever!
aleeshttylXD 9
they could be switched.....
theangelfromhell 6
I have a feeling that I will be thumbed down but, how is this an FML? Yea he saw his dad naked, ok. But its not like his day is ruined :P
theangelfromhell 6
I have a feeling that I will be thumbed down but, how is this an FML? Yea he saw his dad naked, ok. But its not like his day is ruined :P
lonelyharts86 8
This actually made me laugh. Good one.
shawnaishere 14
We've all had that moment when we just wanted to walk around naked give it up to your dad for making it reality.
The_CL0GGER 0
He should've at least used the newspaper to cover up his penis. I mean, isn't that what they're for?
Snackycake 20
Father- son bonding time taken to the extreme!
Snackycake 20
Oh my God, I didn't see just how wrong this comment sounded until I posted it....
xAttackAttackx 25
...does that mean OP should've gotten naked, too?
Snackycake 20
Well, according to the way I phrased it, yes...yes it does
perdix 31
What the hell could you see? Was he sitting in a glass Börje over mirror Slätten? (That's IKEA-speak for a glass chair on a mirror floor.) Good thing you didn't come in three minutes earlier when he was stirring the sugar into his Fruity Pebbles.
zachherbert 10
He sounds like a Coco Pebbles kinda guy... With a side of orange juice.
brandon3747 16
Yolo?
SherBear133 7
Dad: "whatever! I do what I want!" ;)
perdix 31
Was it your dad speaking to you, or was he practicing his ventriloquism skills through his lap puppet?
day624 14
Nice and witty.. I like