Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
It's the thought that counts
Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
Great prank ideas #47
Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Romantic gestures
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
Action - Reaction
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Top comments
ciarafox9 9
Maybe she didn't want to ruin her lipstick? There are photos after all! Still it's a pretty lousy thing to do
x_KL_x 7
Ewwww, cooooooties!
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Comments (182)
SunnyUserName123 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
needs more nicki minaj.
imustbeinsane 2
Needs less you Also nice wife you got there
yamatelle 19
1- A very wise man once said, “it is better to let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and proove you are stupid”
YourEvilHero 12
nicki Minaj does have a nice ass. but op fyl and your marriage which may not last long.
SunnyUserName123 5
I hadn't opened my mouth, but her ass is great.
Marcella1016 32
Should've picked up that chapstick at target
eprincy 0
shes a keeper!
eminemchick 19
nicki minaj was in "a kiss" not the skit "the kiss"
thebadmanpuntedb 7
17- Correction, the real quote is: Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain
gojira666 7
She flip u the bird when you brought out the ring?
dre_bro11 12
Wow OP, imagine how hard having sex is going to be.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
jheez, OP. I don't know what to say :/ my initial attempt to post this comment resulted in: "Error ! You have been too quick to comment. Please wait before submit another comment : -1313853169 seconds" O_O
Friaza 29
^ I see what you did there.
gamercanadian 11
Good one
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
use tic tacs next time you get married :P
Jacobt24 19
Maybe the OP's wife was just goofing off, getting a good laugh and they kissed right after. We don't know the whole story.
mfjkr 10
FAAAAAKE! *points finger*
Jimster1712 0
Pit
ScaughtieHolden 11
16, I really hope that's pen and not a tattoo. That's pretty ghetto.
RaggleFrock 13
I really hope that's a wig and not your hair. That's really bieber
Jimster1712 0
yea its pen
ciarafox9 9
Maybe she didn't want to ruin her lipstick? There are photos after all! Still it's a pretty lousy thing to do
hailphire130 0
Maybe she's like Adam Sandler in Anger Management and she doesn't like to kiss in front of people.
bizarre_ftw 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm that way ^_^ (but note I'm very good at it when I do kiss, I don't want to sound like a complete prude)
Marcella1016 32
^Thanks for the clarification I was wondering
qazaq 1
Lipstick? You women are the best excuse makers for each other.
kapippenger 0
^This guy gets it.
MILFSaregood 7
Should of ducked came back for a hook punch 1....2...3 shes out of it
fakeaccountX 6
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.
dre_bro11 12
Imagine how hard having sex is going to be...
molly2moon 0
^this guy. He knows his movies. The americna dogde ball association of america
FuckAllOurLives 6
nah. I don't think so. that's sad as HELL.
Aim_Low 4
Seeing how OP was on FML afterwards I'm guessing he didn't get much poon later either.
howdmynosego 12
Maybe she was just worried about her breath
funkyspacemonkey 0
What a bitch!! Divorce will come soon.
GrahamAker 3
She's defiantly not in it for te money bro
OcampoFTW 4
Damn sorry man, if she won't do that maybe you shouldn't be with her
happyhak 5
What is with some people on FML thinking couples should break up over every little thing? "Today, my girlfriend accidentally spilled a drink on me. FML" - "OMG, BREAK UP WITH HER! SHE IS SUCH A BITCH! DUMP HER, DUMP HER, DUMP HER!!!!11!!" It's like these people have never even been in a relationship and if they have then I doubt it has lasted long since, in their mind, the answer to everything is breaking up...
JonaDona 2
34- i agree with you 100%
rattusrattus 19
Dude, the kiss makes the marriage real. Its of great symbolic importance. All those bits of paper, vows, etc? They just make it official, not real.
Marcella1016 32
34 I get irritated too till I realize most people on here are kids with no life experience that miraculously know everything. On the other hand it IS messed up that she didn't kiss him. Who cares about lipstick? It's the kiss of a lifetime! On the other hand (my third hand?)...it's definitely not something to get a divorce over lol
DjeePee 25
"It's like these people have never even been in a relationship and if they have then I doubt it has lasted long since, in their mind, the answer to everything is breaking up..." True true. But you can't deny the fact that it's very strange and not a good sign if your partner doesn't want to kiss you on the wedding day.
humorizer 14
@Happyhak: It's our response to the females always being like: "Today, my boyfriend pranked me by saying boo while I was walking to the bathroom. I literally #*$% myself." "OMG! HOW CRUEL! Strike his testicles with your foot at high velocities!"
jabee8 0
she dodged but maybe she did kiss him at the end we dont know what happenned after... but relationships today are like this, people are too lazy to try to find solutions or have arguments (theyre actually healthy for every relationahips) so they just give up and (try to) start over... a relationship is never flawless and we have to learn to go pass the little details that we dont like and work on it to make it invisible or live with it... so The Kiss is probably just a mistake, i'm not sure they went all the way to the engagement and wedding day and cause she dodged it he should leave her... makes no sens :P
kingatowning 2
Wonder what the sex must be like? Oh that's right. She dodged his dick too!
sirsquab 12
Eh. Doding the kiss at the wedding tho? It doesn't mean he should divorce her, but it's definitely a warning bell. We don't have enough information tho... OP needs to talk to her privately about it. It could be nothing more then the stress of the wedding, or it could be a sign that this marriage won't last.
Belovan 2
You should have been an ass about it.
alliegraywords 13
Are you Prince Albert of Monaco?
Naked_Communist 0
Why is this thumbed down? This is awesome ... Unless you're someone who doesn't know what's going on in the world...
Zebidee 9
That's the funniest call I've seen in a long time! To the people thumbing it down, go watch the wedding video.
alliegraywords 13
#67, #69, thanks ;)
Jdeluxh 12
Or are you Andy Bernard? (for people that don't keep up with world events)
x_KL_x 7
Ewwww, cooooooties!
Chigagigaroo 0
Lol! xD
Jaxon26 0
Nice wife ya got there.
mudkipsan 19
... it would be a shame if anything were to happen to her?
EmilyJoSmyth 4
SSSSsssssssss
ddssuperstar 0
Goddamn creepers... Always exploding at times when it's least necessary....
mikey561 2
stop being such a bich she loves you
cyanidesandwich 21
11- well im not sure what a "bich" is but the OP should be upset, his wife dodged the big kiss in marriage. Edit: If OP's wife tried to dodge The Kiss, then how does he know she loves him?
Floortje 17
Is that the sound of jealousy/heartbreak?
mchakkiwala 0
I bet she as well "protects" her breast plates and keeps you boob-deprived.