Anonymous
United States
Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
slipperyhands
United States
It's the thought that counts
Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
no low five
United States
Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML
Anonymous
United States
Great prank ideas #47
Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML
Time for a divorce, I think
Edison, United States
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Anonymous
United States
Romantic gestures
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
dantko
Dearborn, United States
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
fun
United States
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Anonymous
Middleboro, United States
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
CaptBlood
Action - Reaction
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML
Top comments
ciarafox9 9
Maybe she didn't want to ruin her lipstick? There are photos after all! Still it's a pretty lousy thing to do
x_KL_x 7
Ewwww, cooooooties!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
yamatelle 19
Maybe it was because your breath smelled like Satan's ass gas, but I could be wrong.
perdix 31
And you look like a corpse's shoe. And she was embarrassed to kiss in front of the inventor of bananas.
yamatelle 19
I might look like a corpse's shoe and have a chest that looks like pizza, but at least I have Lady Speed Stick to prevent the ingrown hair. What are you going to do about your grandmother's comment that you have a most curious smell?
leadman1989 16
I bet this is that guy, the one who's parents painted over his teeth in his wedding photo.
iknowimawesome 13
I ALWAYS read that as Santa's ass gas.
Soloman212 28
Its curious how that's a common enough phrase for you to realize such a pattern...
zembof 3
Bite me please ;)
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Lol I only just realised it wasn't santas ass gass
barlessprison 16
She's saving her kisses (and more) for the honeymoon.
JonaDona 2
Thats bullsh!t
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Maybe she was feeling a bit nervous..
MEM0817 18
She's already dodging the kiss? Jeeze... good news though, here in Arizona we have place I drive by everyday on my way to work called "Discount Divorce" I can get you the number...
CatEyes66 0
I wonder if she dodged his p*nis during the honeymoon too.
SmittyJA24 26
If she tries to dodge that dick, she's gonna get it in the ass. (well, if she was MY wife, ....) The dick is going into her, one way or another.
Marcella1016 32
46 - Ouch! Damned if you do ****** if you don't DX
gofferurself 10
@46-So all that would matter, if she was your wife, is that your **** is happy? She's nervious, sick, or any number of other possibilities, but as long as your **** is in her somewhere its all good. It sounds like your the type that give men a bad rep.
jemiller226 13
Don't feed the troll...
sharleerose 4
Around where I live we have drive thru chapels
DarthVader77 9
Discount divorce... Music yo my ears!
purecpu 0
Can someone Call for Divorce?xD?
imawatcher 1
ouch :(
bigjohn106 5
Hope you had a prenup! Watch the bank acct!
Legendslayer222 26
Detach your tongue and launch it down her throat.
bratprince 0
That'll teach her!
yupitssoph 18
NO. that will NOT teach her. Although it was definitely wrong for OP's wife to dodge their kiss, the smart thing to do is definitely not to "teach her" by sexually attacking her.
cowboyroy45 10
I think #179 missed the joke there. The whole "Detach and launch" part ?
DaTexasBoy 0
Can you say annulment?
DottieGothicGirl 3
Sorry to bug you but in your photo that is an amazing gun what kind is it? I mostly only shoot hand guns though i have shot a few sniper rifles and a shot gun (that ended me up on my butt in the dirt).
miz66independent 1
She's a keeper!!