Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went scuba diving for the first time. The diver took me down some 3 meters and I started showing the thumbs up. He thought I was excited. My breather wasn't working and I was using the sign he told me to use to go up. FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and, just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can't swim and we are about to go on a romantic holiday to Zanzibar where all our excursions include water-based activities. His solution is that I just go do them all by myself. FML
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Top comments
lifecontroller 2
You can get specially made goggles to fit your facial features. I scuba dive so please take my word for it
BaconDave 12
It was their honeymoon, a time to be spent together.
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Comments (90)
fluffy_nuggets 0
what's a face google? **sarcasm
platypus546 24
isn't your wife's happiness worth anything?
puglover91 3
sucks to suck:) hehehe
litlizard 0
hahaha, I saw this movie! she left you for the scuba guy, you ate some spicy food with Jennifer Aniston and you live happily ever after!
towboater198425 6
Dude don't be a bitch and FML about not being able to scuba dive, I would go without my wife if she couldn't go for some reason. this post should have read, Today, i couldnt go scuba diving because they don't make goggles big enough to fit my huge ****** nose FML! so fyl for being a crybaby bitch
Sammie246 5
RUDE ! That is not cool. Some people are insecure about their bodies ! No need to cuss and put down other people. ): Tsk, tsk, tsk.
drdna 0
isn't this how the movie "Along Came Polly" started? or was it "Debbie Does Shamu?
aardvarkish 17
"If it ain't a fist, it isn't love." The Pogues "Hell's Ditch"
Sammie246 5
Get nose surgery.
pinkspaceboundro 0
how can your nose not fit into the mask??
MurphyS94 4
Well, obviously his nose was too big, making it an FML. Duh.
FMLandurstoo 9
It was me with my penis nose.