Today, I found out my boyfriend can't swim and we are about to go on a romantic holiday to Zanzibar where all our excursions include water-based activities. His solution is that I just go do them all by myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is booking my dream vacation to Bali with his brothers, 6 months after he told me we couldn't go on vacation this year because he doesn’t have the money. They planned this within a week. I had been planning it with him for months. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years asked, "If you'd go somewhere, where'd you go?" Assumed he's planning our first big vacation, I said, "Somewhere warm, with water and beaches." Later I found out via social media that he's at the airport with a chick resembling our new neighbour. They're going to a romantic place with his boss. I also found out that I'm pregnant and unemployed. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Let's everyone CTFD. I know Zanzibar is a real place on Earth. I was just kidding. Sounds unusual, though.
Grizz8831 14
life jackets? I would think any sort of resort focusing on water based activities would require you to where life jackets, regardless of how good of a swimmer you are. some water is more difficult to swim in (density reasons I think). it could also be a good time to learn the basics.
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Comments (9)
phybreawptic 13
So he's not a fan of watersports, huh?
RichardPencil 32
Haha! This would be sad if Zanzibar existed. It's just a planet from some science-fiction novel! Maybe you can get some Vibranium or Spice or a light saber while you're in Zanzibar!😂😂😂
Alex Gruber 5
So Freddy Mercury was fiction too?
RichardPencil 32
Probably, although Mercury is a real planet.
aribanks 12
Zanzibar is in Africa. Its an island off Tanzania
RichardPencil 32
Let's everyone CTFD. I know Zanzibar is a real place on Earth. I was just kidding. Sounds unusual, though.
Grizz8831 14
life jackets? I would think any sort of resort focusing on water based activities would require you to where life jackets, regardless of how good of a swimmer you are. some water is more difficult to swim in (density reasons I think). it could also be a good time to learn the basics.
Lindsey Taul 9
First of all, Zanzibar DOES exist. It's called Zanzibar Island, also known as Unguja, off the coast of Tanzania. Second, EXCURSIONS, not exclusions :)
timinator5000 28
Who did the planning? Did someone surprise the other? Sounds like more communication is needed
Yummi_913 18
I mean it's not like he can't get in a few quick swimming lessons like a big boy..... oh wait, no he can't because there's a global pandemic going on 🙃
bobsanction 18
Maybe you should have found out BEFORE planning a water-based vacation?
Colleenfllorida 9
Hope those tickets are transferable and your BFF can swim!
AstroTurf Matador 8
Your exclusions include...? Those 2 words are exact opposties.
raven_of_azarath 35
I was thinking this (though a list of things being excluded can include things on it). And if the water-based activities are actually “exclusions,” then they’re activities that aren’t part of the vacation, so there’s actually no problem here. But I have a feeling OP actually meant “excursions.”