Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
supahcoolperson 0
Ohhhhh wow haha you're gonna have to learn to deal with it.... It likely won't stop anytime soon
Kallian_fml 21
You must be very proud.
ICastillo 25
You shouldn't have restrained yourself. You should have just gone with your instincts. Never second guess your gut feeling OP.
greeneyebeauty9 28
you sure know how to raise 'em..
Draxanoth 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She sounds vain, arrogant, and selfish... A normal teen I suppose. Quickest cure is a strong bitch slap, do it OP!
rocker_chick105 31
Well don't you sound pretty vain, arrogant, and selfish with that comment. The normal teenage isn't that bad, it's the few that are that ruin our reputation.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Stuck up, snooty, and pretentious? At least she apparently has the right personality for the shows... /sarcasm
gracehi 33
I'm guessing she's a teenager, in which case, she'll probably grow out of it. If she's an adult, then you shouldn't have restrained yourself.
cis1den 0
**I Blame the Parents.. Yes, that's you!
ICastillo 25
I blame Jersey shore just because that show makes people a little dumber everytime they watch it.
JaysFanStu 3
Agreed. I lost 4 iq points the other night after seeing a preview for the next oooh look a penny!
buca100 4
You raised that. You allowed that behavior. And wanting to hurt your own child that badly is very serious. Do you realize that you want to hurt your child because of behavior that you raised? Do you not hear how ridiculous this FML is?
ideasrule 13
Contrary to rumor, children have something called "free will", and can choose to disobey their parents.
CrewBoy 10
20. Please don't mate.
annie_nk 23
A slap won't seriously hurt her. Yeah it'll sting but it won't leave a bruise. One slap isn't child abuse. From the sound of it, she's never been disciplined in her life and a slap could have been good.
acanedo 17
Kudos 20
valvmonster 9
....and THAT is where all these self-centered, whiney brats are coming from.
sheethapins 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Thank you 71. When I was growing up I was lucky for a slap on the hand or pat. My mom tore my ass up if I didn't act right, and to this day I thank her for it. I can't blame OP in the least for feeling like that, because she probably got it when she was growing up and if her daughter was acting that badly I would say the girl needed it. Kids these days don't have the same disciplinary actions taken against them that we had and people wonder why kids are bratty, getting pregnant, becoming violent and out of control, etc, and it's never been so common. Not just common, but glamorized! Although this happened in previous generations, it didn't occur so frequently because the parents put the fear of god in their kids. Not only that, but when it did happen it shocked people, they didn't rush in with cameras they frowned on it. Point is, if you're not bruising your kids and seriously harming them, give them the ol' fashion treatment, and do it for THEM. CPS needs to get real and focus on true abuse and neglect cases and let parents do what's worked for decades. I almost blame CPS honestly.
sheethapins 13
Correcting myself, OP is a man... Oopsie poopsie.
Tzofi 11
For things like these is that we have so many stupid teenagers. Why is everyone so sensitive about these things? I got slapped by my mother in more than one occasion for being an idiot and crossing lines; that does NOT mean she abused me. If a parent constantly uses physical violence and that's their only form of discipline, well, that's abuse in my book, but one slap won't kill her or scar her for life. .
paintballnuts 5
The fact that op had to physically there selfs from hitting there kid makes u wonder of it would be one slap or a beat down both are wrong .. Also kids will be kids teens will be teens but they only person op needs to blame is there self
annie_nk 23
65 - If OP's brat child did try to turn daddy in for one slap, she could be accused for making it up because no lasting evidence could be proven like a bruise. And I'd bet she's spoiled with expensive "toys". Which wouldn't help. But still, the parents would be questioned and SHOULD be furious at their child for overreacting and taking such drastic measures. In my opinion, physical discipline isn't bad as long as it isn't resorted to all the time and doesn't leave bruises or other serious injury. My ass got beat whenever I was caught sucking my thumb because my parents tried everything else to get me to stop. Spanking me got me to stop and the five years of braces was my punishment.
eccentrix 12
Thanking someone for seriously harming you sounds like an abuse case. Nobody should feel they deserve physical punishment.
dyslexic_jd 10
Got off your ass and do some parenting...