Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
Catahoulaqueen_fml 17
I'm sorry but if your first instinct was to slap your own child silly for being excited about something, you have failed as a parent. yes, we ALL hate those shows like Jersey Shore around here, myself included, but some people like it, and that's no different than you liking a silly or fictional show. Its rude she cut you off, but again, if you wanted to smack her over it, I think you should take a look at YOURSELF first. She's your damn kid.
TalkCrazy47 7
There is nothing wrong with a parent wanting to discipline their child for wanting to do destructive behavior. Parents are actually SUPPOSED to do that. My parents taught me what was destructive and bad for me and would smack me in the back of the head for going against them. There is nothing wrong with that
TheCrazyEye 6
You're an idiot
Redtick 9
Maybe if you hadn't restrained yourself so much while raising her she wouldn't act that way. Just something to think about.
ddeek 3
Wow you sound like a wonderful mom!! Yeah it was rude to interrupt you, but saying is stupid?? Nice
kryxen 14
Umm, op is a dude. ... But it seems he doesn't have a big enough manhood to take her tv away so never mind.
ddeek 3
Where dies it say "dude" either way. Jackass of a parent
dcmtnbkr 1
your fault, you raised her
klovemachine 24
No just no :P
goose12321 11
It's simple, we kill the reality tv shows.
kryxen 14
Just kill the cable. Read more book.
trellz17 19
Did anyone else laugh out loud at this? The "like totally" part had me dying laughing.
StayClassyLassy 6
Can you believe my mom actually told me I should watch Teen Mom because it's supposedly influential. Also, she thinks Kim Kardashian is famous because her dad was OJ's lawyer..which is obviously not why.
annie_nk 23
You are a rarity. You have more common sense than an adult.
luna92az 0
Your kid being stupid is no ones fault but your own.
ShannonBitt 29
And you allowed her to talk for five minutes when she interrupted you because...?
Blue329 15
The things kids say now a days!