Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
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Top comments
bestnameright 14
You raised her... Just saying
oj101 33
Faith in humanity -200 points.
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Comments (87)
Rossee 3
I agree with #2 You raised her!
oceanrain 4
And who raised her? Maybe you should have taught her manners
anteague_93 3
You are a douchebag father. I hope she auditions for a show, gets casted, and makes more money than you've ever made in your lifetime. Then you can talk about her "jaw-dropping stupidity."
NorthernGrizzMN 0
How old is this daughter? Everyone seems to believe she is a child based on the thread comments, but I can confirm there are grown adults that are this vapid.
dontyawishyaknew 12
It seems to me that the parent just seems really douchey. Let the kid talk, what does it matter if they don't always make complete sense? Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like much of an FML. A lot of people do stupid things, especially teenagers.
LokiLaufeyson 2
Here's a word of advice. If you don't like children (because it really seems like you don't) maybe you shouldn't raise them.
Ferreesley 3
Your child is excited about something and you call them stupid and want to smack them for it? You need to reevaluate yourself. They shouldn't have interrupted but an excited child is just that, an excited child. It could've been sparked by something just said so it was blurted out. And the "pay my way" comment, she's a kid. She'll learn. If she doesn't it will only be because you gave in to anything she wanted.
FistToBalls 3
It doesn't sound like she's that young. The pay for it next year sounds like she will be graduating in a year
Sir_Swaggington 6
She needs to be slapped.
FistToBalls 3
Smacking her lets her know she did something stupid, I'm guessing you didn't smack her as a child...
mkcherry 14
It sounds like ops daughter is a teenager, If i raised someone as vapid, self-centered and spoiled as the girl mentioned in the post I'd be ashamed of myself. That being said I know a few good parents who have rotten kids, you cant punish stupidity out of someone and they do have free will. You can be the best parent you can be and still end up with horrid teens/adults. If I was having dinner and someone's child was saying all of this stupid shit I would be thinking about slapping them senseless myself.