Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
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Top comments
batgirl_babygirl 0
just laugh at yourself dude, people like funny people...not lame ass liars
Cmliedtke 0
Whenever anyone tells those bullshit stories its so easy to tell theyre lying..
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Comments (79)
staceysgenesis16 0
wow .. thats extremely stupid .. hmm
xJordieeBearhhx 0
lmao the door kicked your ass son.
Death_From_Above 0
they're retarded if they did
Livinia 11
The story is definitely more pathetic.
k3500 0
haha fail
Jrefinne 7
If you take your anger out on inanimate objects, they will kick your ass. Or in this case, your face.
rlcollins 0
you're an idiot
yuggi1 11
The door and your gf have a secret love affair. Just to warn you.
batgirl_babygirl 0
just laugh at yourself dude, people like funny people...not lame ass liars
docscientist 10
Yeah, I would've gone with the door kicking my ass and make it humorous. Now everyone thinks you're trying too hard.