Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
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Top comments
BlackHawkSavior 28
Call that dude out! That's so nasty
gamermonster 34
No more shit puns down here please. We have bad ones up here already.
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Comments (66)
pjsr 33
So many toppings for spaghetti, but never heard of that one. Please don't notice this FML, Olive Garden!
andrmac 25
Well isn't that what the Olive Garden would do to Yelpers according to South Park.
I_own_a_dog 11
*inserts generic shit pun and get down voted*
I_own_a_dog 11
Thank you for indulging my desperate need for attention
gamermonster 34
You're welcome
FalloutScrolls 25
Suddenly I lost my appetite.
paperbag77 9
there could be a perfectly logical explanation for this .. could.... lol
Mynamewontfi 40
Spaghetti, spaghetti. This is something you will never forgetti.
nickie_94 18
I would've thrown up
atlien247 16
Hopefully he'll catch a case of e. coli poisoning to teach him a lesson. Ugh... nasty!
Myo_fml 20
No... Hopefully he doesn't. That shit's serious.
Brandi_Faith 34
He could seriously get really sick by doing this though. Fecal matter can make you very sick. So yes, in a way I hope he learns this lesson. I prefer someone to sit down and explain it to him, but if that doesn't work (or he doesn't believe it) maybe getting sick will make him realize how sick & disgusting that really was.
WOTAN1488 24
WHAT THE ****
dutchy86 20
was it his "famous" spaghetti/fish combination?
ThePez828 18
How old is he? If he's two, that's a little more understandable than if he was 16!