Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML
Handy
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
You've got something…
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Take your time
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Slipping up
Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML
Top comments
awuh_man 0
that's not cool. to any of the posters above me. I see where she's coming from, I have over active sweat glands, and when I get nervous, I sweat a lot. it sucks having to pick clothes based on how much sweat will show. and I've tried everything, prescription deodorant, sweat pads, so don't be so rude and inconsiderate.
babybubz 0
#18.. she probably DOES wear deodorant/antiperspirant as well.. but she might still sweat through that. SO.. she puts tissue under her pits to soak up any sweat she produces before she goes out... so she's not already sweaty when she leaves. just because she does that with the tissue doesn't mean she doesn't wear any deodorant you know.. geeeeeez.
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Comments (121)
animal65 0
lol
Pearljammer001 0
that sucks. big time. wasn't some kind of condition like this on one of those medical shows?
boopityboppity 11
17 - A condition where people chronically stuff tissues under their arms?
cucuto89 0
Try deoderant next time
babybubz 0
lmao @ #19
ImaginaryFoe 1
I thought this said her dad came to pick her up. Incest? I was confused and disgusted till I re-read. Actually I'm still confused and disgusted. Was the date picking you up from home? Didn't you have any anti-perspirant there? Or if you are extra worried about wet spots, why not just take the shirt off until the last minute? Anyway, let him think you stuff your bra. It's much better than the truth.
JustStopSucking 0
I agree with 26--the truth is much worse. f his L, really.
silentfog 0
aren't all woman's deodorant antiperspirants
ralphv16 1
so... I guess that's your story and you're sticking with it right?...
AnaujiraM420 0
lmao @36
sublimaze 6
lick my sweaty balls and i'll lick your sweaty pit
whoadangitssam 0
i read this exact story in Seventeen magazine like 6 months ago. it's fake.
crazylady654 0
beat ya to it, nig try again later, loser
Joey7361 0
lol 19 is a win
tweetbaby14 18
that's why anti-persperant has been invented hun you might wanna pick up some
Philosophic 0
@ 19 - No, where you sweat tissues ^_^
UberFail79 0
OP, you shouldn't steal stories from magazines. In my opinion, you shouldn't read Seventeen, either, but that's just me.
In_your_face 0
just show him the goods then he will know that they're real =D
cookiemobzta 0
looks like someone never touches deoderant
colts609380 7
I wanna get physical... physical. let's get physical let me hear ur body talk
RagingTurtle 0
random
blobs94 12
For some people their problems extend beyond anti perspirant.
Blue_Black_fml 21
ever heard of antiperspirant?
lettertjes 0
It doesn't work well enough for everyone. For some people, sweating is a problem that can't be solved by using anti-perspirant or deodorant. But there are special armpit-pads that you can stick in your clothes. If your stick them in a tight-fitting t-shirt and then wear a normal-fitting shirt over it, they're not noticable. And OP could get her armpits botoxed but that's pretty expensive.
neonokku 0
yeah it doesnt work for me i still sweat like crazy
heeheehoo 0
I've heard of some people resorting to Botox. Apparently it works.
shananigans 0
I actually never had a problem with wet marks on my shirt until last year. I couldn't figure out why it started happening so suddenly until, frustrated, I bought a completely different brand of antiperspirant than what I had normally used. Then the problem stopped. I dunno if my body had built up some sort of resistance to my regular antipersperant but maybe you should try a new type, OP
boxers4me 0
wearing 2 shirts would make me sweat... ;)
ringmybell_fml 0
lovely:!
lickmyjock 0
deodorant it's like a buck at walmarts. oh and ew nasty. Id hate to ask how you keep your cooter dry.
I_am_that_guy 0
^well If it's never wet then it wouldn't be fun
ringmybell_fml 0
mmmm sexy armpit sweat sex..
wthcharles 0
deodorant?
CokokoLa 0
deoderant doesn't help you stop, it stops the odor. smartass
awuh_man 0
that's not cool. to any of the posters above me. I see where she's coming from, I have over active sweat glands, and when I get nervous, I sweat a lot. it sucks having to pick clothes based on how much sweat will show. and I've tried everything, prescription deodorant, sweat pads, so don't be so rude and inconsiderate.
riverhed 0
Sweat me a river why don't you.
neonokku 0
same problem #8 im hoping itll go away
Blue_Black_fml 21
#8- i dont mean to be inconsiderate, but she doesnt seem to be handling the problem well.. how will tissue be more effective than deodorant in protecting her from excessive sweating? At least deodorant will do something...
null_fml 11
#12 ******* wins. :D
babybubz 0
#18.. she probably DOES wear deodorant/antiperspirant as well.. but she might still sweat through that. SO.. she puts tissue under her pits to soak up any sweat she produces before she goes out... so she's not already sweaty when she leaves. just because she does that with the tissue doesn't mean she doesn't wear any deodorant you know.. geeeeeez.
Blue_Black_fml 21
#24- good point, but another question is what was she gonna do when she gets physical without the tissue there, as she said she forgot to remove them? my point is, whether she uses deodorant or not, tissue is not a practical solution for over-sweating, and this is actually proven by this FML, if it is real...
babybubz 0
lol ...maybe she figured he'd think the 'physical action' got her sweaty..... >_>
skullbashd 3
number 12 epic wins
allard 14
12 = Win. Tactical Nuke Win.
luckyducky123 0
Try botox then. It's expensive and you have to get it done every 8-12 months but it'd be worth it if it worked.
beachgirl199661 0
ftw 12 that was amazing
kylr123 3
Thankyou #8 all these ppl are so inconsiderate that there actually is a condition where you always sweat, I'd know I have it, I wear prescription grade deodorant, deodorant to stop the smell and nice smelling spray to hide the smell and sweat pads in stressful situations, yet all pf them don't help, insulting someone about this is so cruel because I have the lowest self esteem about it and when I think about sweating it makes it worse, look it up people before u start just saying were dirty when most of us do really try!!!
kims0706 10
Addressing everyone that is saying tissues aren't a reasonable solution- We (I've had this problem too) cant control this, and I personally have tried everything. You put on the deodorant but that doesn't stop it, you try to change your diet from foods that may cause you sweat, you do almost everything to make it stop but it doesn't. So when it comes down to it, that is a simple and easy solution as long as you can keep them out of sight. And I'll admit it's not the perfect solution, but sometimes it feels like the only option.
truly0bsessed 0
they have this thing called deodorant. you can get special kinds too for that.
kitzukitten715 0
my suggestion? shower... a lot. then use deodorant. one thing that also helps-don't know if this applies-shave daily. if none of that helps, see a doctor. and of that doesn't help? sorry. looks like you're doomed to a nasty frequent armpit drip.
luckyducky123 0
Showering a lot reduces the smell. Deodorant doesn't work, you need antiperspirant. However, antiperspirant doesn't work for people who sweat a lot. And shaving daily won't help. But they can get medical deodorant or get botox. There are also surgeries that remove the sweat glands.
okeetard 2
You can still sweat with deodorant ppl duh
neonokku 0
:/