Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML
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Top comments
StalkerChick 13
I'm surprised that your boyfriend would allow you to sit in his brother's lap. o_o
onedayinamsterda 14
He's just happy to see u ;)
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Comments (73)
EpicSquishii 21
I don't see why you all three had to go. You could have taken a shopping list or something right?
kitsuneluvuh 12
Hooooooooly shit I read this wrong the first time. I thought OP had to sit on HER brother's lap, and he got a stiffy. It's WAY less wrong what actually happened. Poor guy, bet he was embarrassed.
sacrifcedsoul 2
I did the same thing lol
dunker_fml 4
It was Oklahoma after all.
kiwienne 21
Glad I'm not the only one who read it like that.. Was a bit worried there for a second
doglover100 29
Same here
razbery_nerd 4
Whats wrong with Oklahoma!?
ohSNAPyall 27
30 Don't hate! I have an Okie friend, and she is a classy lady.
littlekenzie_33 1
I read it wrong like 3 times
khriss_khriss 7
Omg I thought the same thing at first till I read the comments and reread the post LOL
emh86 14
Are you sure he wasn't getting ready for an armed robbery?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I see a 3-some in OP's future, good luck!
gc327072 31
(in voice of Dr Evil) How about no?
dino_cookie4 7
Your picture is ******* awesome .
KM96 24
AWKKKWAAARDDD .... I would totally want that to never be brought up ever!!
Shadow_Phantom 26
You're a woman sitting on a guy's lap... were you expecting him to sneer in disgust or something?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Exactly!
tne201992 12
And boom goes the dynamite! (Cleveland's voice)
Miltonius 15
It was his side gun, obviously. No, but seriously, your boyfriend should have thought things through more thoroughly. Guy + girl on his lap. A series of things could go wrong here.
evilvagina 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
take advantage of the feelings you have had for him for a while, or alternatively cuckoldry is good fun, make your bf watch.
barefootchic 6
...what??
jem970 19
You are really mean. Who intentionly cuckholds a man? Its mean. If it happens on accident then say your sorry, but on purpose? MEAN!
saksxalmo 20
I love when people use words like cuckold in casual speech. The next step is to revive the words "strumpet" and "niggard".
vanessa09865 23
i don't even know what any of those 3 words mean......urban dictionary here I come! or cum in his case ;)
Kkkdawg 27
You can't help it if you think someone's attractive, even if they're taken. It's shitty that it happened, especially on a bumpy road :s Maybe the boyfriend trusts his brother to know better anyway. You can't stop a natural thing from happening either. Although he could have started thinking about dead puppies or something... Oops!