Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
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Top comments
Ilikeurfmls 13
Or you could've said "you squeeze it we freeze it".
zojieeu 6
You are screwed :D
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Comments (170)
rachelbayy 6
My science teacher answered the class phone with "Campbell's mortuary, you stab it. We bag it" it was the office. He got scolded.
cfire800 0
Ytdi, but that's ****** hilarious!
holdn2aces 1
If you get fired know that I will forever answer all calls from unknown numbers with this quote. So thank you.
nikolai3893 4
I thought it would be good idea when I read this. To bad my next call was from my mom..
joeychan 0
Great way to get a promotion man
CastielJ 6
Should of said you thought that it was the new company slogan.
shrdlu 28
LESSON: Never make or accept a bet that you can't afford to lose.
SomeAnonymousBro 4
Your ex-boss now?
santel_fml 8
Haha bam
babe7260 30
Why the hell would you do that while being at work? You totally deserve anything that you get!!