Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML
Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML
Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
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Top comments
extremereviews 26
This isn't Burger King, you get it my way or you don't eat the damn thing!
sullivankeara 25
Beggers can't be choosers
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Comments (76)
CandyApple88 13
Next time, tell him he's welcome to go outside and scrape some gum off the sidewalk and eat that.
brehhh_fml 8
this has to be the greatest thing i've read all day
DrHothead 15
Did you?
xluciferx666 21
Did you ever think maybe he suffers from a mental illness?
Sparx1_1 16
There are many reasons why people have no sympathy for the homeless - you just met one of them.
dougfrank 12
hehehehehe
exuberant_orange 17
Eh, should let him try it XD
teresa96706 29
"a guy called the food crap and"... I had to reread this several times to realize OP is trying to say the guy labeled the food as crap. I kept reading it as "called the 'food crap' ".
Abhinow 7
You shud had said he will get the soup in the same bowl tomorrow
Intrigue 3
Among the destitute, you're always going to get a percentage of whackos.