Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she gave me a really long recipe and said, "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic." I work at Starbucks. FML
Today, at work, I’ll admit that I wasn’t in a good mood. I work in fast food, and I went to hand this guy his food without looking and he didn’t grab it. I got frustrated so I FINALLY looked. With an equally as upset look, I noticed the guy didn’t have arms, so I’d just been shoving food in his face. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Oh I'm on the menu, sir. You just can't afford me."
elk21dbm 18
Well that's rather uncomfortable...
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Comments (109)
elk21dbm 18
Well that's rather uncomfortable...
Murilirum 23
It might be his way of making conversation, elderly get lonely and their people skills deteriorate. Nonetheless still awkward.
lifesentence 11
I see nothing wrong with that.
Nexpecto 28
You have to treat some elderly people as small children because they say the darndest things. Albeit creepy, all were compliments!
DocBastard 40
"Oh I'm on the menu, sir. You just can't afford me."
philipino 24
Did she ask him where else he might like that finger
PenguinBitch 44
Old man: "then lower your rates you filthy prostitute."
Nexoux 18
"We will see about that. Name your price."
tony1891 22
38 there are some things money just can't buy.
Senorangelo 10
You have it in your blood, doc
aireeahna 23
Plot twist the old man is Hugh Hefner
False_Stupidity 42
#47 For everything else, there's MasterCard.
19990231 29
Looks like he wants to taste you.
AriettaX 15
hmm.... cannibalism perhaps?
TheNiceOne 20
I don't think you understand what he/she meant.
rekkas 16
Is it bad if that sounds like something my grandpa would say?
kcpestwick 15
It's only bad if he says it to you
Murilirum 23
I was thinking the same thing exactly.
SkittlesGoRawr 19
An old man used this on my aunt when she was a waitress.
scarman_fml 14
tell him to check the dessert menu
Thorteris 17
There are 3 types of elderly. The nice gentle kind. The grumpy and ones that complain about everything. And the last the weird ones that I can't even describe shown here.
Thewhitestboy 14
I wonder which one i'd be...
foxwasalamb 24
14 is elderly now?
Thewhitestboy 14
You never know
martin_dustinc 8
The horny ones, #6
HarshD9619 34
Nothing better than creepy old men hitting on you. Tough luck OP
Cass_x 22
That's just creepy.
LiveLifeAllDay 11
I would of said , "let me check if I'm in the menu "then never came back .
shutupshane12 12
Then you'd be out of a job, good job
davincidasecond 24
"No sir, I'm not on the menu, but we do serve water for free. You can drink as many glasses as you need to quench that big thirst you have."