Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
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Top comments
cyxx 0
Haha that was mean, but if even your dad and younger sister know about your apparently overly active sex life, there's probably some truth to that statement.
andelizastrin 0
It amazes me how mean and rude some parents are, if these kinds of FMLs are true. And if it is.... I am so sorry. What a jerk : I hope he was just joking.
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Comments (135)
AegisXOR 0
Do I detect some incest?
Amkii 0
Your dad rocks!! #52 - I'm picking it up on my Incest Detector, too...
MountEvanest 0
What I want to know is how would her dad know?.... If it's a case of incest, than I'd agree, she is pretty easy.
Puolukka 4
Honestly that was RUDE or her Dad. Lots of times parents think they know it all when really they don't! My own mother called me "easy" and "a *****" to my FACE because I "sleep with every guy who smiles at me" and it was all just assumptions...I started having boyfriends at the age of 14, now I'm 22 and married, I've had 6 boyfriends total including my husband and yes I did date more than that...but I only slept with 3 guys, also including my husband...so just because I had fun going out on dates and hanging out with guys my parents assumed I'm sleeping with everyone which I never did...! So who's to say that the OP's parents really know for a fact how many guys she's slept with...they probably don't have the slightest idea unless they spy on her wherever she goes...
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Your dad rules also person above me is a mad ****
newguy_fml 0
#55 Good for you! Its good to get things off your chest. Its hard to be a closet *****. Actually, I bet you get things "off your chest" all the time, so NVM
TEAZO 0
oh owned by your dad. maybe you should slow it down then. coz your dad already thinks your a ***** lmao XD lmao # 57.
HotAsIce99 0
LOL. He's probably right.
faygo19 0
That was the best thing I have ever heard tell your dad I wanna hang out with him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oloochi 0
wow your dad's a ******* twat. Some family you have