Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cyxx 0
Haha that was mean, but if even your dad and younger sister know about your apparently overly active sex life, there's probably some truth to that statement.
andelizastrin 0
It amazes me how mean and rude some parents are, if these kinds of FMLs are true. And if it is.... I am so sorry. What a jerk : I hope he was just joking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
Haha_you_suck 0
#72 all men are "smatter"? you sure you don't wanna take that comment back? imbecile..
zombiebrains 0
I totally agree with #1. That was rude and uncalled for, especially from your father!
Moomoomoo_fml 0
What a hilarious dad! although, i would be a bit uncomfortable if my dad was like that
Ironicles 1
can I have yo number!
Meta_fml 0
80 is right. The dad is a giant douche.
nuga 0
...maybe you should try not being so slutty? But if you're not and the comment was undeserved, then your dad's just a jerk.
LordP123 0
Stupid. Clearly made up. Just like 75% of the FML's now adays. No dad would do that..after every small thing that's said just come up with a witty line? I call bullshit on this FML. The people who accept these aren't even going to truth anymore they just want it to be funny and ridiculous. Lame.
jaql 0
ROFL.
toad_fml 0
not gonna lie, the line was hilarious, but your dad is shitty for saying it to his daughter. unless you're a POS and deserve it. who knows?
meeeh_fml 0
man your dad's awsome mebbe you should improve your standards?