Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
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Top comments
cyxx 0
Haha that was mean, but if even your dad and younger sister know about your apparently overly active sex life, there's probably some truth to that statement.
andelizastrin 0
It amazes me how mean and rude some parents are, if these kinds of FMLs are true. And if it is.... I am so sorry. What a jerk : I hope he was just joking.
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Comments (135)
2sexy4shirts 0
HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow. that was good.
jer_fml 0
haha those ***** shoulda been worth it
Mandala_fml 0
Maybe the community college in their area is quite selective?
wrestler_fml 0
Haha I love your dad. he sounds like the kind of a dad you'd see on TV. PS maybe you dress like a *****, have low self-esteem, worry more about sex than looks, get bad grades, hang with wrong crowd, etc.? Whatever it is that you do that is sl*tty, GET RID OF IT! cuz guys find it unattractive and gross. if im gonna date a girl, she HAD DAMN WELL BETTER not be the type who would cheat on me! and if a girl wanted to have sex with me, i haev a MUCH HIGHER CHANCE of doing it with her if she doesnt look like she has STDs! no offense to anybody
katyflinn 0
you shouldn't even give your father reason to say that... it could be prevented, you know
zombiepeanut 0
I don't even know why people are commenting like they are... What you do with your sex life is your business. And just because your father made a comment like that doesn't mean there has to be any truth to it. My dad calls me a street walker on the rare occasion I want to wear shoes that aren't sneakers. Why? I have no idea. There's no logic or truth to it. Don't listen to these people. I bet if a guy posted something like this the comments would be completely different.
wangle 2
i'm sorry i hit the "you deserved that link" accidentally. I didn't mean to judge you.
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
aww. :( im sorry. IM THE 69th COMMENT. :D
applepie447 0
it's okay, only the whole internet knows that you banged your dad now. your secret is safe withus ; ] just hope mom didn't pick up on it!
pokurfayce 0
y'know when your dad says that about you, it's true.