Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, my little sister brought home her new boyfriend. He has an impressive job and is very charming and attractive. Apparently I'm the only one slightly bothered by the fact that he's 35 and she's 19. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML
Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML
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Top comments
cyxx 0
Haha that was mean, but if even your dad and younger sister know about your apparently overly active sex life, there's probably some truth to that statement.
andelizastrin 0
It amazes me how mean and rude some parents are, if these kinds of FMLs are true. And if it is.... I am so sorry. What a jerk : I hope he was just joking.
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Comments (135)
spaghetti_fml 1
Well, regardless of the jerkitude or lack thereof of OP's father, that's kind of hilarious.
Revan_fml 0
Probably the funniest thing I have ever read. Nice comeback from your dad. I give him props.
jhall 0
Speaking of community college the movie community college is premiering Wednesday April1st at the trocadero in Philadelphia Pennsylvania for the bargain price of 5 dollars you can see the trailer at communitycollegesucks.com and you can get your tickets at http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/02004257B80E3E70?artistid=1299695&majorcatid=10005&minorcatid=59
Stephie_fml 0
Hahaha, thats ******* funny.
jet_fml 0
I'm sorry, but that sounds SUPER creepy. How would he know? :|
kellster 2
That's disgusting. Both that he would say that, and also that there might be merit for it - which, judging by what you said, there is. Maybe try not being a *****. Might help.
bigcrazymike 6
LMAO! Well, father knows best.
dewey318 0
ROFLZ!!! you got dissed by your dad. your life is fcked
newguy_fml 0
Is your dad so wrong for not wanting TWO skanks in his house?
damnthatsuck 0
hahahahahahahahahahahaha wow your dad is AWESOME!!! try not to be a ho then