Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied, "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
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Top comments
SerenaIncendia 11
hope you complained to the store manager. I'm not a complainer but that is wildly unprofessional, this is coming from an ex-cashier
alex_jaguara 33
If you have someone to use them with, no big deal.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, even ugly people can have water balloon parties! Sure, they're very expensive water balloons, but the way they explode on impact is sublime!
Alex Gruber 5
Richard, I'm glad that even you got to use condoms - hope you had fun watching them explode on impact
RichardPencil 32
Pro tip: don't let the condoms decay too much in your wallet. They tend to burst just as you're filling them up -- with water, of course.
feven52 17
Uh get help please
RichardPencil 32
I know! You mean like a wing man, or a pimp?
Baby_123 8
Lawsuit
MidnaLink 35
Hardly needs a lawsuit. Manager, maybe, but this doesn't need a courtroom.
alex_jaguara 33
If you have someone to use them with, no big deal.
SerenaIncendia 11
hope you complained to the store manager. I'm not a complainer but that is wildly unprofessional, this is coming from an ex-cashier
DarkAngelsBlade 25
I’d have asked for the ****** manager.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I hate cashiers that comment on every item I'm purchasing. The fact that this one had the audacity to say it to someone else behind your back is maddening. I'd definitely talk to a manager. That's unprofessional and very rude and certainly not warranted.
juggalo2 22
"You won't need condoms to go f%$k yourself."
Stephanie Mikai 6
Talk about unprofessional. As a cashier myself I honestly don't care. When I do care is when I'm being rushed to finish the transaction. Pisses me off because the person their going to have sex with can wait.