Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML
Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML
Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML
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Top comments
WR4 10
That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...
subwaysurfers 13
Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.
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Comments (72)
WR4 10
That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...
Ambient25 25
OP needs to find the nearest cat to zap! Then again I hope OP has those Beat headphones, they deserve to be destroyed...
GEBEH 14
I wanna buy OP's services as my alarmclock.
JAKASS200 5
anyone else notice the "5ML"
Ambient25 25
No, the "5ML" is an illusion. It's perpetrated by the Illuminati to get you to buy more Justin Bieber CDs which will unleash a Kraken against you that will result in me coming over and peeing on your doorknob in semi-circles. Don't fall prey to that trap. Just notice the "5ML", accept it for the omen it is, and chive on.
Kholonie 9
Don't feel alone, OP. I get shocked while drinking from the water fountain, and I'm always thirsty...
pinkster2014 25
Haha #21 xD But seriously (to #19), the 5MLs are in celebration of FML's 5th anniversary lol
wowlolreally 12
Sounds like there's a after school cartoon in there somewhere
zandalee 20
Ummm. What?
Sillabub 15
You're not talking about that old cartoon, Static Shock, are you? Like 10 or 15 years ago that had catch phrases that made even a 10-year-old gag?
Welshite 40
You should have renamed yourself PenguinScholar if you shuffle like that.
ElinsVal 9
Ugh this happened to me all the time before, only it was small clicks too, try to avoid any part of them to touch metal, except for the plug of course
wrestlelaxskate 11
It just happened to me today while running on the treadmill. It was a painful shock every 15 seconds or so
SamCat 21
Oh dude my car door does the same thing too, it shocks the hell out of me, it even sparks sometimes. First I thought I had dirt on me or it needed a wash but it still won't stop.
Amberosia 10
My car door does it too. I have gotten shocked so bad before the pain shoots from my fingers up through my arm and the fingers sometimes ache for up to half an hour afterward.
Enslaved 38
Same thing happens to me. I found out that if you touch the door while you're stepping out of the car it'll help. Something about grounding.
TresAmusant 11
The same thing used to happen to me too...but they were conducting on my wool school skirt...if its not your clothes, I'd get on that, OP. FYL :p
subwaysurfers 13
5ML? Shouldn't that be FML?
subwaysurfers 13
Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.
chutney_02 22
The next step is to not rub them against curtains?
jwb8711 13
Maybe you should pick up your feet.
mannatee 19
I thought I was the only one