Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JustJumped 22
Sounds like he's called dibs.
Geckosrock99 33
Someone is a bit over protective. You two are adults, too bad the brother can't act like one and let his sister have a good time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
ThePaperDragon 31
Awh! :( I would bet you were absolutely exhilarated for the date. I pray you can maybe arrange a second attempt at your first date with her without her brother getting involved. Best of luck!
chaylea 19
Meanwhile I will "prey" on you.
Mmkay1515 21
My brother answered the door with a bat on my first date, it actually was a posted FML a few years back. However, he had the decency to not threaten to smash the guy's kneecaps...
sureshadow 23
That is better. Not much, but better.
Tannasgh 22
This is providence. Who wants to be part of a dysfunctional family like that.
OAP_Watson 3
Concealed carry is your friend.
ShowMeKay 20
Yeah because pulling out a gun on your date's brother is a great solution.. Guns don't just magically solve everything.
holly_fly 34
While that might be true, if the brother ever ACTUALLY attempts to smash his kneecaps in, seeing a gun just might make him think about it. Even if it's not loaded, if an attacker thinks you've got a live gun in your hand they WILL think twice.
SK8WITME 19
some other day, my friend. but I bet it isn't over just yet. if the girl likes you she'll message you about another time soon
philosophicallll 25
you should go back with a baseball bat and GO GET YO WOMAN
homtravel 10
Is your date a young girl?
derangedplanet 23
It's okay. Scott pilgrim also dated a high schooler...
tamesenicole 27
I would like a follow up please!
B00K_L0V3R93 31
So did you stay or leave? I understand that that would be frightening but he's her brother, unless she's under the age of 18 he can't say boo. I wouldn't have left until I talked to her. For all you know it was scare tactic made to look like you stood her up. I hope everything works out OP. Better luck next time.