Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Ballshot
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Top comments
CreamGravy 36
I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"
Welshite 40
Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
Gorebabee17 10
Damn, that's ****** up.
VampOfSavannah 31
That's a shitty thing to do, and he's a shitty excuse for a boyfriend. Judging by his actions, it sounds like he's the one who doesn't want kids. There are better and more mature men out there, who are much more respectful!
Alastrina_fml 20
Grade A asshole.
Mr_Saikaly 35
what an asshole your boyfriend is. sorry for that
pcgwm 13
I really hope you did that to him aswell.. then maybe he won't be able to. lmao
chosha_fml 27
Sure you do. Perhaps not with him...
dreamful_artist 14
I mean it's only fair to return the favor now!
vikky538 29
do the same and ask this question..."will you be able to have kids now?"
bgon1350 4
look at the up side. now he can go down and kiss it to make it all better.
kalbrek009 20
Throat punch, then ask if your friend "still likes breathing"?