Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Ballshot
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Top comments
CreamGravy 36
I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"
Welshite 40
Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
meegal 12
I'm guessing your boyfriend doesn't want kids huh? Yeah I don't blame him. I don't want kids either. But instead of trying to stop you from having/wanting to have kids he should find someone who also doesn't want kids. Kids are loud, smelly, sticky, annoying, needy, and REALLY expensive. I honestly hate kids but hey, that's just me. Keep your annoying kid away from me. It isn't cute. It's annoying.
RogueWarrior869 23
That was an obviously terrible thing he has done. I hope you two have a talk about this and also see where you match up on the wanting children. If that's something you want but he does not, perhaps you are best off finding someone who does, and won't shoot you where the sun doesn't shine.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Proper reply: "Yes…but not yours."
gregjohnson298 8
dump his ass
BloodyMary666 24
What the hell is wong with him??? Dump him, girl!
P4L 8
I wud have shot him in the dick and said I don't think ill ever have them now and walked away
mightyxmidget 10
Do the exact same back and ask him the same question
Derperder 9
should've shot him in between the legs and say "yeah i do"
Alexanderutley 3
lol perfect shot sorry but that is hilarious im a guy fyi
unique_freak 17
"Nope" *Shoots bf in balls* "Won't be needing those anymore"