Today, as revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego into my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
Today, right after preparing a gourmet plate of dry-aged steak with freshly cooked mashed potatoes, I stepped on my son's Lego and dropped my plate. I stood there for 5 minutes, crying. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, I jumped up to touch the ceiling, then I landed on one of my younger sibling's Lego. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
That kid is brutal! Definitely deserves an old fashioned spanking for that
tdap88 7
I think you may need to read that again
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (202)
Xotoolyxo 16
That kid needs a reallyyy long time out
TheLadyOpal 30
If I had pulled a stunt like that when I was little I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.
Emibelle_fml 20
What a devil child!
JohnGalt11 1
You're a parent, for Christ sake. Stop bitching about something so trivial and instead focus on the bullying issue.
jsimmons94 11
I think they are focused on the bullying issue. The kid bullied someone at school and comes home and essentially tries to 'bully' their way out of a punishment, which isn't exactly trivial in my opinion.
ooojane 4
Lolol your kid is a menace.
kmartFTW 12
Maybe the other kid deserved it!
VampOfSavannah 31
I'll bet anything that you bullied others when you were in school.
kmartFTW 12
Maybe. But they deserved it.
mata2 7
I think someone needs a little respect for others and know we are not in grade school any more BTW I hope you don't have kids I would feel sorry for them.
CommanderZooJob 8
Discipline parents. Please abide by it.
Drian91800 7
And that's why you spank them
nyikkins 11
FYL, OP. Nobody deserves that.
VampOfSavannah 31
Give his toys away to charity.
mata2 7
Yes and no giving his toys away would be bad best thing would be take toys away then give them back in a few days. and to spank him
jsimmons94 11
I agree to an extent. Giving a toy or two away that isn't his favorite but also isn't his least favorite would be a good way to show that he isn't above anything. But it shouldn't be anything he cherishes because that would show that the parent doesn't have respect for the child's possessions and would possibly make the child resentful. Instead just hide that favorite toy for a few days until they face up to what they did and apologize for it.