Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HollyQuinn 21
That's absolutely gross and mean. Frats are awful.
bosniangirl27 21
Thats terrible. Why would you even want to do that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (67)
jediemma 9
You realise that's animal cruelty right?
DanaeZee 18
Your frat sucks, your frat house president suck and you suck...if you swallow. Why would you do something so shitty? **** this "ritual".
PePziNL 20
You suck, if you swallow. Huehuehuehuehue
Weasely 11
How can people this stupid (and cruel) exist?
Joshawott 21
And, knowing full well what they were intending to do with the fish, you didn't refuse the sale?
honestjane 22
Because he's so damn scared of those assholes not liking him, he'd do anything to please them. OP needs to grow up and grow a pair. Who gives a shit what a bunch of jackoff frat douches think?
swimthenread27 19
Do you really want to be part of an organization that values and promotes animal cruelty? If so, you are an awful person.
AzariusStar01 26
Frats make no sense to me. We don't have them where I live, but from what I've heard, they're really stupid. I mean, what is swallowing a fish going to prove? Is it some sort of essential skill you need in order to live among those in the house? No, it's just for their entertainment. So I don't understand why so many people want to be part of something like that
keepmelikeanoath 13
If it's a decent frat, the organization is genuinely about brotherhood and holding up your values. Fraternities can be great support systems in college...unless they have stupid hazing rituals like this. I don't understand why people subject themselves to humiliation to join a group built on harmful traditions.
TheCutestLizard 28
Call PETA
janfleury 19
It's your choice to swallow that fish. It's cruel to that fish. You get to decide what type of person you are. Are you the type that will be cruel to and animal in order to fit in with a group or are you the type to stand up to abuses no matter who or what it's against? It's is an important moment in your life, choose well Grasshopper.
demix_fml 32
That shit needs to be reported.
yerawizardlizzy 27
As a lot of others have said, that's hazing and it's illegal. It makes me mad to hear of other Greeks pulling shit like this, but even more so to think that we are all too late and you went through with it because you didn't know any better. Take it from this former risk management officer: report this to your Greek Life advisor immediately. To be clear, the Greek Life advisor is the person in charge of the fraternity/sorority program at your school, not your fraternity's advisor. Some schools and even national headquarters have zero tolerance hazing policies. And consider another fraternity if you haven't already been initiated by the time you read this. If you would still consider Greek Life at all.