Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
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Top comments
that1kid82 2
Wood floats
MrClean17 15
He was probably even more embarrassed than you were
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Comments (135)
perdix 31
It would have been an FML if you touched a teenage boy in your bathing suit and he DIDN'T get a boner. That would mean you are not considered doable by the horniest variety of **** Sapiens. The good news is he went home and had masturbation fantasies about you. Win-win, I'd say.
Bena_Round2long 2
Well did you put him down? Or did you just hold him there like a sailless sail boat for all to see?!!
Gabyzabyz18 8
I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy hope u were a girl
TopBanana20 11
Well, it says her name is Julia....and right next to it, it says "(woman)".
sirpantselot 22
Comment #30 is homophobic.
TopBanana20 11
I would consider that a compliment. Besides, he was probably way more embarrassed than you. FHL OP
perdix 31
It would have been worse if a lady in bathing suit touched him and he didn't get a boner. Congrats, you are at least doable according to the least selective segment of society.
TomPusslicker 21
I enjoy what you're saying, but i still feel bad for anyone whose self esteem is low enough for this to be considered more flattering than awkward.
Link7130 4
Perhaps it was his way of saying "you're beautiful"
shoping00 2
at least you didn't sink his ship
FlyingPie 17
Teenage boys can be horny a lot, and women often look attractive in swimsuits. In that situation, perhaps the best thing you can do is take it as a compliment.
brittanyrmh_ 12
I laughed way harder than was necessary.
seli27722 3
hahaha (cracking up) hahahaha