Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
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Top comments
etishuman22 32
I wouldn't be able to stop laughing either. In fact, I haven't.
Welshite 40
You need to polish up on your "dirty talk".
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Comments (102)
FrankCastle 3
Hey man a good relationship has laughing in the bedroom.
hulopro 16
Lol
imabassist 23
One of the few FMLs that actually made me laugh out loud
mythicaltimes 15
I had to laugh.
nitrog100 21
As a bro, I have to tell you that that was indeed hilarious. That is not the way to inform someone that you're about to give them the business.
TehGinga94 21
My boyfriend once tried being sexy by growling "who's the doggy now?" in my ear. That was 2 years ago, and I still give him shit for it.
jenevil27 9
hahahahah, i would've died laughing as well. I laughed when my boyfriend asked me if i've been a bad girl
MinkleStein 8
Hehe!! just seems silly right lol ;-P
MinkleStein 8
Haha the pressure is on .....Fold!! Good one tho..;)
melonsmasher11 7
I've heard of: " I'll give you a good dicking", but "dick you down good"? Oh my...
Mdhughey 7
That's kind of messed up though lol. Maybe I should stop saying that to my girlfriend