Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
samlovesham1234 9
Maybe he didn't make it in time? That does happen.
HylianBadger 21
I'd hate to see how bad he aims when he pees.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (36)
Wishe 17
Aren't you more concerned about why he's vomiting rather than where?
catanita 18
When it comes it comes. You do not have the time to hold it until you reach a safe place to puke.
GhostFox 34
For what it's worth, vomiting on the floor isn't the most comfortable thing for the person doing it, either. For one, the angle is awkward and make it hurt more. Being on the floor for an entire vomit-fest can cause serious leg and back pain. Vomit tends to spread, meaning that if your on the ground, it is going to get to your legs and absorb into your pants at the least. Vomiting also causes muscles to not cooperate, and that means you spend the entire time fighting your bodies desire to go slack, because if you do you are going to go facedown in a pile or puddle of vomit. The angle means more of it gets in your sinuses and stomach acid -which is in vomit, obviously- burns. And everything that gets stuck up there is going to cause a sinus infection. There's also the fact that not making it to a toilet, sink, or trashcan with no holes is embarrassing even as an adult. Considering that he's a teenager and they almost default to embarrassed or ashamed, it's gonna be compounded. He's your kid- you kind of signed up for at least 18 years of bodily excretions, accidents, and messes when you kept him.
GuyGuyson 7
Well said
Catdragon 40
Hey, once less thing to clean am I right? You must know what it's like to vomit since you were pregnant with him.
rowdylemon 4
not everyone vomits in pregnancy..
YomnaKamal 3
simply, make him clean it
jasonswife423 18
I feel your pain, my daughter vomits everywhere except the toilet when she's sick. Last time, she ran past 2 toilets and a trash can, then threw up on the floor beside my bed. But she's 7, not 14.
khiiirsty 14
That's rough lol
kingdomgirl94 29
My fiancé is a grown man and he got violently ill as a reaction to a medication. He threw up in the bathtub instead of the toilet. Once when I had a really bad flu as a kid, I threw up in the sink. Especially if you're asleep when you suddenly need to hurl, your mental faculties aren't at their sharpest. Your brain gets all super ****** as you're running and choosing "toilet" isn't as easy as it should be.
emeraldarcher74 30
The next step is to get your significant other to sympathy puking.
willela14 9
At a time this wouldn't it be better to be more concerned about your son than the bathroom floor?
DanielleinDC 34
There are times when I've had to puke and haven't made it to the toilet in time. However, as it usually comes in waves, so to speak, I do have time to get to the toilet before the next heave. (Sorry to be gross, guys, but this is a vomit post.) Hope your son is okay, OP.