Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
That's when you pat her on the head and give her a treat.
schwancy 2
Awww she's learning.
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Comments (112)
CoachLlama 5
Only one moment that you will recall with a chuckle. There will be many, many more. Enjoy every one of them.
ballinpro23 3
factly? is that a word?
TheNewGuy03 29
"matter-of-factly." you have to use all of it. otherwise, not a word. |the kid|
garza559 0
i would have been laughing my ass off! haha
Nyc__Princess 0
Kids these days :-(
DarDar1 0
atleast she does say it anymore good girl
imright24 0
She didn't pull that word out of thin air. I wonder who else uses it. YDI.
oliver86 8
at least she dosent drop the c bomb
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Just think, now you have the Condescension and Superiority phase to look forward to!
jinxthejinx 0
My thoughts exactly! The precocious ones are always so annoyingly cute, or cutely annoying, so you're never sure whether you want to like them or hate them—but either way you can't wait for them to grow up.
KingRO 0
That's when you hit her w/ the "good job sweetie" and then laugh your ass off when she's not lookin
the4starr 3
**** baby!