Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FFML_314 12
That's when you pat her on the head and give her a treat.
schwancy 2
Awww she's learning.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
zombehunter 2
only blame yourself and these now terrible cartoons. oh wait cartoons don't curse, so that leaves just you :). YDI
Yuuko 0
YDI for letting her even hear that word some where
RedPillSucks 33
Bwhahahahah. My friends daughter would always say "What the...!!!" without saying the final word. It took him a while to figure out how to explain to her not to say that.
LittleMagicWolf 7
give her a cookie :3
Allymeme 3
That isn't a FML, that's a story to tell when she is 16... I remember doing something similar when I was little.
thew_fml 14
at least she said "f***" and not "****"
goldiefox 0
haha smart ass! ;)
stewpididiot 11
Art Linkletter is ROFOCLHAO rolling on the floor of his coffin laughing his ass off
jwarwick 0
this should be on MLIA.
flowerchild1616 0
That's just awesome
DocBastard 40
I'm just not sure where to start with this. My head...asplode.