Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
That's when you pat her on the head and give her a treat.
schwancy 2
Awww she's learning.
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Comments (112)
shandi_13 0
hahahahaha she had to learn that word from someone.. and they say children are most observant to the people they spend alot of time with..... their parents
nerdsgetmehot 23
Monkey see, monkey do. She must have learned it somewhere, and the most likely candidates are always the mom and dad.
QWERTYCommander 5
She just contradicted herself...
Cxhris 0
Failed parent. YDI.
crayyonz 0
does she still f her bf
RunawayDinosaur 0
It's a wonder where your daughter picked that up from, if you're going to write about it and follow it with the initials "FML". What would YOUR mother think!? :o
KamilleBlack 3
She sounds so cute! U failed.
diegomanguelo 5
well Shes learning :)
redoxy_fml 0
maybe you should pay attention to her instead of going on fml
MissErikaHart 0
cuz the "to of?"