Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
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Top comments
dancer4moon 8
She's rude!
breakingbad_fml 27
At least she didn't try and kill you herself. With that being said: Your mom is rude. ***Didn't see that first comment there, sorry.
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Comments (224)
meihua 19
Or you could use it for other things...
babyshaft408 8
Well did u eat it
weby11 12
That seems like an awful way to die
sarah6786 14
Tell her to f*** herself with it.
DestinysChampion 17
Very rude, and inconsiderate.
xNephilim 19
You can actually be allergic to all kinds of fruit? o_O
lysx84 24
I'm having issues with that too, what's the common allergen? Bananas aren't even a fruit really!!
Senseless_487 29
From what I can find out, people who are allergic to fruit are actually suffering from a pollen allergy. Allergic reactions to certain types of pollen (the types found on the fruits) are what cause the reaction.
False_Stupidity 42
OP could also have multiple allergies, there doesn't have to be a common allergen.
skyeyez9 25
If your allergies are severe enough, that is a horrid thing to say! I had anaphylactic reaction to a medication I was taking and it is a slow and painful way to die imo. I had to get a couple shots and 35 mins later the symptoms began: I felt uneasy and restless but not sure why. My scalp, arm pits started itching real bad and then I looked in the mirror and was like Holy shit! My face and entire body was covered in red blotches. My face was swelling up. Stomach started to cramp real bad, and then my chest started to feel like someone was sitting on it. My heart started beating so fast, it was hurting and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. My throat started to burn and I felt it swelling shut. Not being able to breathe is terrifying. Once the first symptoms began, the rest just started happening real fast. It took maybe 5 minutes for all of the symptoms to be happening at once. I had to call 911 and the paramedics saved my life. Your mom is a **** to wish that upon you!
skyeyez9 25
Forgot to add, every time my heart beat I felt a weird "electric feeling" course thru my body and a lightheadedness with each pulse. All of those symptoms happening to your body at once is not a good feeling. And your throat slowly swelling shut makes you panic because you are scared of suffocating to death.
ArmlessSkydiver 7
Must have been a fruitful conversation
jaylaufers 13
Sounds like your life isn't too peachy!
ihpp 22
Ouch. Harsh.