Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
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Top comments
Phoenixke 16
Should have given him water and said it was vodka...
FrietvanPiet 16
How can you even say he is a gentleman?
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Comments (81)
Barhinder 9
That's how I show my disappointment when I'm sober...
samasara 20
yeaaahhh.... that's a good time to call the police.
shan88 14
Was a joke!! This is FML not interesting facts?
sisterjameela 7
He was pissed.
peppermintpink 11
He was so pissed, he peed...
peppermintpink 11
He was so pissed, he peed...
peppermintpink 11
He was so pissed, he peed...
leggie913 6
Gentleman?????
FKJVMMP 17
This is by far the most brilliantly worded FML I have ever read.
perdix 31
It seems that he quite literally expressed himself.
tskat2 3
I remember my first beer
billyz77 24
You don't say what kind of 'shop' you have for this guy to stumble into but might I suggest hiring some sort of security guard or bouncer? Very effective against drunks and other pests.
buckdharma 38
It could have been worse. His next question could have been, ya got any Twinkies...