Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
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Top comments
Phoenixke 16
Should have given him water and said it was vodka...
FrietvanPiet 16
How can you even say he is a gentleman?
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Comments (81)
beehardxcore 26
I really just love the awkward disgusting story, told with such proper, "hoity toity" English. You win my affections OP.
Cloudmaker 3
Put his nose in it and say bad drunkard , bad! No peeing on the floor until after you've bought something. Sorry op, some people cant hold there liquor in any form. Heres to it not happening again
astro20 5
Man in the FML world their sure people pissing everywhere.
2tonekid 6
Like a sir.
kevsandy303 12
Boating school? I thought this was Spanish class!
saksxalmo 20
I love the way this is written, haha.
StanSmith2013 26
Why not sell him something that at least looks like alcohol? He is too drunk to tell the difference!
raphael1123 13
Picture and 911. You could get cash brah
insaneDONUTZ 15
ewww that is gross!
Mf2307 15
that must of been fun to clean up