Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
slick5880 22
Sounds like a much more rational fear now.
vElectrixx 4
Has anyone ever told you not to touch the edge of the metal lid?
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Comments (58)
cryptic1985 4
I'm curious as to how this person cut themselves on the lid. I've open plenty of those containers and I've grabbed the metal lid and what not. And I have never cut myself. The edges are rounded hence my confusion.
amandarrr 3
It takes a special kind of person to accomplish this..
Skarkie321 18
13- Random but...I love ADTR (:
oceanbeauty 17
I have never cut myself on the lid but I did cut myself once while opening biscuits. I was holding it with my hand over the seam on the bottom and when it popped it split the skin between my thumb and finger. Now I am extra careful of my hand placement.
MakeTodayADTR 20
Coming up next "When dough boys attack"
doodlecloud 27
Am I the only one who doesn't know what OP is on about? Biscuits in a can? And when you unwrap it it 'pops'? Huh? :S
SaintPeasy 3
The biscuits you buy at the grocery store that come in a cardboard-like can with a metal circle for the lid and base. When you open them, the air escapes and "pops" audibly.
BellaBelle_fml 23
They are all over the U.S. They can be biscuits, cookies, cinnamon rolls, etc…But I'm not sure if you guys have them in the U.K.
Mauskau 36
So biscuits in a Pringles can? Got it. I thought op was on about the cans where those spring snake things pop out when you open them at first.
nogood9 4
Not really a pringles can. You actually unroll the can itself.
CptZoe 10
If I am not wrong biscuits are scones to us. It is all very confusing!
doodlecloud 27
Oh, I thought I knew what you meant until said you actually unwrap the can...ah well. I guess I'll try and google it...
ShyAnn29 15
107, you peel the label off, and it pops open at the seem, then you unroll it.
hellproof023 6
Therapy. Over biscuit cans. How the hell would people survive 100 years ago? Society has grown soft..
cristy91 33
Bring one of those folks a biscuit can, I'm pretty sure you'll be set on fire for witchcraft
Psych101 9
33- "What?! Bread that was not harvested from the grain fields? How much did you sell your soul to the devil for, you Satanic monster?!"
RedPillSucks 33
I'm thinking he means physical therapy for his hand and not psycho therapy for his mind, but I could be wrong. Both seem appropriate at this point.
Psych101 9
52- Unless the lid sliced straight through muscle or something, OP should not need physical therapy. Mental therapy seems more appropriate because OP said he was already scared of them.
unknown_user5566 27
There are phobias for everything these days. If your fear extends beyond those specific cans, your phobia would be deemed Metallophobia. It's strange to think such a random fear would be so common, that it would actually have a phobia classification.
maosquare 18
There are so many human beings in this world, there's really nothing as an uncommon fear, I suppose. Some fears are just more common than others. I think it would be really myopic to say that a certain fear is random because it discounts the plethora of factors which may have caused it to crystallise.
DocBastard 40
I hope when you cut yourself you yelled, "D'oh!"
gc327072 31
Or "son of a biscuit!"
perdix 31
I've got a great gift for you on the day you get released from the looney bin: That can of "peanuts" that really holds springy snakes.
gc327072 31
I love those! Gets 'em every time
lovepandorasaver 11
Should put a pillsbury doughboy in there holding a knife haha
LDsWife519 2
Where's a like button when you need it hahaha this made me laugh
BellaBelle_fml 23
'Like buttons' are for Facebook, this is FML. We have 'Add to favorites' here.
neurodoc 1
Dude. Just get over it. Pop a few cans open and you'll be fine. These days everyone wants to blame something else and not take responsibility for anything that they can't handle. If I were to tell my parents that I can't open a can because I'm scared of the pop sound, they would have just whooped my a$$. Now thumb me down for tough love.
loveingit 7
It is not tough love. It is being uncaring! If you had a kid scared of the dark you would beat them till they no longer scared of the dark. That is batshit. Try understanding someone different than yourself
DomDomxoxo 16
I did, because you asked for it (: By the way, you sound like my mother.
neurodoc 1
56- I am not talking about beating anyone. But you have to face your fears and take the bull by its horns or forever be afraid. Just so you know - It is called systematic desensitization. And btw whooping a$$ was a figure of speech 59- lol. I guess we all turn into our parents as we grow old. You'll sooner or later say something and then say "damn I sound like my mom/dad". It's an inevitable consequence of having more grey hair. ;)
ryanaero 1
Wow you're an idiot