Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
slick5880 22
Sounds like a much more rational fear now.
vElectrixx 4
Has anyone ever told you not to touch the edge of the metal lid?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
ICastillo 25
Now you're going to be scarred for life OP
Spectre529 12
Talk about irony?
greeneyebeauty9 28
i have a fear of grasshoppers... worse than spiders even.
olpally 33
Ermahgerd!!! Is the can okay? ;) haha, all joking aside, I hope you're okay!
brand0n93 5
I gotta hand it to you...that was brave
doglover100 29
Are you ok?
ellytoad 13
Heavens, how did you manage that? You can do better than canned biscuits in the future, my friend. Bags of bakeable buns seasoned with olive oil and rosemary, perhaps. Mmm.
gracehi 33
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean no one (or in this case, no can of biscuits) is out to get you.
julzmsu 1
YDI. You should have made biscuits from scratch. It's not rocket science.
ShyAnn29 15
It is to some people
eerin444 5
Oh the irony!