Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML
Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
slick5880 22
Sounds like a much more rational fear now.
vElectrixx 4
Has anyone ever told you not to touch the edge of the metal lid?
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Comments (58)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I read "can feel therapy" as a pun. I think I have a problem.
aj94w 4
You might be a pussy if...
haljane 0
OMG I've never opened one of those by myself because I'm afraid of that!!
rockerlove2013 6
Um...wow
hipsterrkid 2
Yet you're okay enough to write this....
GatherTheMice 15
I have that exact same fear, and now I guess I always will.
athlete1990 4
You remind me of the fainting goats.
mintyfresca 2
I, too, have this fear.
isamisis 9
This must be a regional problem.
zango1 15
At least you can still feel something