Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year-old man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I went out for drinks with two 18 year-old girls and a 30 year-old woman. I'm 53, and wanted to hook up with the 30 year-old. She got drunk after an hour and went home in a taxi, meanwhile the two 18 year-olds drank me under the table. I'm sat with them trying to sober up so I can walk home. FML
Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
Today, I'm a 20 year-old guy, and my 52 year-old mom has aged really well and looks around the same age as me. Meanwhile, I'm aging poorly and fear that I may soon look as old as she actually is. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, in Las Vegas, after taking my drunk dad and his drunk friend to their respective hotel rooms, I realised that I, despite being 16 years-old, am the responsible one. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
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Top comments
dantheman1988 0
i think you need to get your priorities straightened out. getting drunk and partying all the time is for immature people who will never live up to their full potential. go to college, study hard, and do something positive with your life besides worrying that your drunk mother is cooler than you. shes not.
DocBastard 40
Yes, because drinking to the point of unconscious vomiting makes you a cool party animal. I'm so glad you have such a respectable role model.
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Comments (153)
DocBastard 40
Yes, because drinking to the point of unconscious vomiting makes you a cool party animal. I'm so glad you have such a respectable role model.
kkutting 2
agreed!
MrGold 0
Not agreed.
DocBastard 40
Shocking that MrGold is still trolling me. It's quite flaterring, really.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Isn't it spelled flattering?
persianjr1 7
shut up pretty pink. or DocBastard will use his bloody knife on your apple body and we will share the pieces.
MrGold 0
What can I say. I like to see you. Naked.
DocBastard 40
MrGold - sorry, but you'll have to take a number. My naked dance card is full. PrettyPink - you are correct. I have no idea how I screwed that up, but thanks for pointing that out. See everyone? I made a mistake and didn't get hurt when someone pointed it out. See how that works?
lmaoatall 6
in your case, the apple did fall far from the tree.
kkutting 2
better that way! who wants to turn out like that? it's so pathetic >_>
lmaoatall 6
when there is concern for the persons safety, absolutley. maybe she's going through a midlife crisis.
MrGold 0
I ate the apple
kei1108 13
But is being a party animal really that great when you have to have someone babysit you like that?! idk, getting drunk and throwing up for a day really doesn't sound that great.
Livinia 11
I think it's better to be less of a party person than to be someone who drinks until they vomit.
4Lonely2Stoner0 0
You can't be much of a party animal if your having to make sure your mom doesn't choke on her own puke. Fyl dude
rnbz 0
Turn that bitch on her side; problem solved!
kinga08 0
You can have fun partying without becoming an unconscious drunk. Your mom won't be having fun tomorrow morning. You will only become someone else's problem by doing what she does, assuming you have someone that cares enough to take care of you like that. It's disgusting and a pain in the ******* ass to have to take care of vomiting on-the-verge-of-blacking-out drunks, as I'm sure you may know.
RainbowHeadache 2
Forever alone guy. I was wondering how long it would take before you got an FML approved. Me gusta this post.
ILoveEggnog 7
You did what to this post?
runninbrotha 0
.... no me gusta this post :P
whitewoods 3
22? You're over the hill, the real drinking starts when you're 12-13 or so. Get with the times, man.
ifiwere 0
next time position her on her left side with a bunch of pillows behind her back and her head over the edge of the bed. then go get some sleep....