Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was written up for being late to work. I was late because somebody in my dorm stole my pants. All of them. FML
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML
Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML
Today, I was washing some clothes in the laundry room at my apartment complex. I went back an hour later, passed my neighbor on the way in, and moved my clothes to the dryer. I just brought them back from the dryer, and all my underwear are missing. FML
Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML
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Top comments
PerfasarusRex 3
Think on the bright side you will probably get more tips today.
spekledworf 18
Rimmy Jobs... what kind of work are you doing?
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Comments (105)
PerfasarusRex 3
Think on the bright side you will probably get more tips today.
JackeeDawn 9
I know a job you can make 4K a night and wear less then that OP; ;) just kidding have fun in your shorts OP they seem comfy.
PerfasarusRex 3
Me too it's called being a stripper. 4k vs. dignity.. I personally choose dignity.
SkoomaKi 28
#20 - People need to get money some how. In this economy, people need all the money they can get. Don't say they don't have dignity, you don't know them.
MisterMichael 9
How do you know she's a waitress?
ebonyirony 29
My cousin is a dancer and there's a no touch rule.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
There are strippers and there are dancers, they are similar but different.
twinkletoes747 16
#20 : as a stripper, I'd like to tell you that I have plenty of dignity. As well as pride, confidence, and morals. Not all strippers are disease ridden prostitutes, thank you very much. 99% of us do what we do, and still live perfectly normal lives... WITH DIGNITY!
hahasooo 2
#28 you dont look like a stripper. hehe.jk thats mean. I agree tho stripers can have dignity.
krysxkatastrophe 14
20- What the Hell kind of stripper makes 4k a night? I work with a stripper, and she's a really good one, too. She's lucky if she makes close to 1,000 in a night. LEGAL prostitues can make 4,000 in a night, but that's in Nevada and not the same as stripping.
saransh 3
#28- Respect! But please don't be offensive/judgmental about prostitutes too... Nobody chooses that lifestyle. Its a difficult world we live in. Its already very hard for them I suppose.
awkwarddebater 12
Why does everyone hate strippers? If I had a choice between letting creepy guys all up in my pants and letting creepy guys jack off while I danced naked, I would choose the latter every day. At least then there's no disease or pimps.
awkwarddebater 12
Ummm let me make that clearer- if I *had* to choose between prostitute or stripper, I would choose the latter.
gantoman 13
32- Are you saying that some prostitutes are legal ones?
chelseaaababyyy 17
75 - Yes, she is. The Bunny Ranch is a legal brothel.
iwadasn 33
People who sell themselves for money don't have dignity, no matter how much they try to convince themselves that they do. And yes, that includes strippers.
Dracoboxer357 36
80- Technically, everyone in the service industry is selling themselves, and with dignity, so don't be too quick to judge, friend. :p Edit: Massive modding! Wonder if this comment will stay or go....
sexypvc24 10
Your comment makes no sense, whatsoever
guitarchic12 0
Some People just suck
MichellinMan 20
When I first made my account on FML a while ago, people rarely got any thumbs down. Now, if your comment isn't hilarious/clever, people stab you with a rusty steak knife through the internet.
meso222 8
I still don't get why half of these have ydi... Most of the time it is not applicable to the situation.
gracehi 33
Thank him. You look fabulous, gal. ;)
superhumangambit 4
But on the bright side, you may get a raise.
spekledworf 18
Rimmy Jobs... what kind of work are you doing?
zandalee 20
Do not walk into the restrooms today without vigorously knocking first. Your boss in in there fapping away over your attire today!
aleclikestacos 8
Maybe he'll expect a rim job...
Mooish 18
Then it's time for your next volleyball to steal someone else's pants.
xgirlofglassx 4
...what?
FMLshark 12
I hate when my volleyball steals my pants.
MichellinMan 20
wait... what is this I don't even...
tacojauns 45
He did it for the lulz
MichellinMan 20
I, looked at your picture for the lulz.
FMLKitten 15
Next time put a pair of granny jeans in there and hide your real pants, then we can see if she wants those too :-D
khriss_khriss 7
Lmao wow that is actually funny
Futacy 30
Just stop at Macy's on your way to work. Showing up late is better than showing up almost naked.
007type 26
Almost naked? Some spandex cover you till ankles, and they are as sexy as anything.
007type 26
Forgot about "bottoms" while typing comment. Sorry, my bad.
esines 9
Yeah they also show everything. And if she was playing volleyball, I'm gonna say they were probably shorts..
PhishloverA 14
#9, then OP will be late for work and she'll risk getting fired. Just because someone is wearing spandex doesn't mean that the person is 'almost naked.' I read your 'About Me' section, and Twitter's waiting for you, because you didn't have anything intelligent to say right there. You just posted stupidity
KuchkaNumberOne 2
Yeah, sure. What if they haven't got money to just buy a new pair of pants...? And being late could cause someone to be fired. As for your profile, who the hell died and made you the ******* king of FML? Maybe you should try Twitter.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
9. Twitter is waiting for you.
dead247 13
Wow! What a mouth on that 14 year old...That actually sounds wrong...I hope you have your computer washed out with soap?
Futacy 30
89- Oh I see what you're doing, stalking my profile page and trying to offend me by using my words out of context. Here, let me try... "I do this just for laughs". I was just saying it's a dumb idea to come to work in short spandex, and even if it means using up her wallet, she might as well go get a new pair on her way to work if possible.
wooley29 8
Pics or it didn't happen.