Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
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Top comments
ajpopoca88 3
nows a good time to find somewhere else to live. before something dangerous happens
PlaidPanda 9
Did you do ANY kind of research/asking around before moving on?
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Comments (172)
thefmlman2011 37
sounds like somewhere near where I live.....
mjmlacrosse 2
Where did you move too, Compton?
PhishloverA 14
Are you a guy? Because if so then being called a **** licker is a compliment. Whoever wrote that likes you
WhatsAKate4 6
Why is this categorized as intimacy?
btcrusin 11
I feel theres a side of the story your not telling
Brad31_fml 21
Welcome to the neighbourhood.
bhfriday 9
leave