Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, my wife caught me crying over her miscarriage and she started yelling and screaming at me to "man up" because she should be the sad one, not me. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
caticaticati 3
F your life, your husband has a sense of humor and wanted to make you laugh when you were upset.
FaiIedAtLife 0
Attention seeker?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
FaiIedAtLife 0
Attention seeker?
knockasauras 0
If I was sick and my significant other said that in that situation, I'd definitely chuckle. And why the hell are you calling? for sympathy? Your man probably thinks you're a pain in the ass right when he hangs up.
danman91 0
sounds like something I would tell my girl lol
YourEvilHero 12
if I was your husband I would tell u to shut the hell up, and get out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and make me a sandwhich.
Pball11 0
I'd say he's a good man, he's just trying to cheer you up in a bad situation
xxdakotaxx 0
#24 total win :D
ReyEr9412 0
The bar for an FML is this low
GinandJenkem 0
@19 who says chuckle anymore? loser.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Yes she is. Did you at least clean up before you called to whine? You were sick and your husband tried to cheer you up while complimenting you. What's the problem?
XYZzzzzzzz 0
If he was your BF i would probably see this differently. but its your husband, so i really see nothing wrong with it
the_holy_one 0
This sounds completely normal to me. Quit living under a rock, bitch.
ZleveL 0
did you answer the question or did you just sit there with vomit on your lips and a stupid expression on your face?
DenisTheMenace 13
23 i kno rite?! lol
Foster_33 4
win for the husband
SilenNex 0
stop being a needy bitch
squanmonster 8
moo
caticaticati 3
F your life, your husband has a sense of humor and wanted to make you laugh when you were upset.
thenumberblue 0
I pity the fool that doesn't cry!
iownyou777 0
shut up loser
waNgEmsauCe 0
lol blue you make me laugh everytime... xD and OP, I have that same sense of humor... if my girlfriend called me after that I'd try to cheer her up too. Find a sense of humor OP....
rare_breedash 0
all the ppl above me or a unsympathetic lol girl you lucky thats my kind of husband
bella_coza 0
bahahaha oh man,your husband I like..you not so much grow the hell up!
Luce_del_sole 0
win.
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad your husband has a sense of humor. Why are women such big babies?
XxRayRayxX 0
In case you havnt noticed, most of the girls here think the OP is a whiny bitch too
cocainewhore 30
Why are you such a sexist asshole #8?
TahitiRose 1
I don't think that was an FML... he's trying to cheer you up...
redbluegreen 41
I have to agree with you. I have a friend that calls her boyfriend over the smallest things, like being the "coldest person alive" when it's a warm night out. It makes me want to vomit. The fact that she called him for sympathy instead of waiting for him to come home really does what? You didn't call him for medicine or anything really truly important. And he asked if she cried? Just... I know I called my mom as a kid when I was sick, but the OP is a married adult. You really do have to put the big girl pants on at some point. His comment verifies this.
ke59100 1
well isn't this the worst thing that can happen to a person. pfft