Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML
Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML
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Top comments
MisterFML123 1
Hmmm. Gotta be a little awkward
LolOrDeath 4
And your parents always thought you would have an accident before them
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Comments (110)
janerose21 3
a least next time you know that invitation should be declined and thrown out of windows so a dog can eat it !!
alan831 9
You'd think that if he wanted to get her pregnant he'd find a way to avoid wearing the condom at all.
outoftown 27
And after not so much deliberation, OP declines the next few (many) family dinner invites. Sorry for the ****** up family, OP, but congrats on your new sibling. Best of luck.
jjmiller1001 17
Yay it's fixed!
Abbeygale 8
Lol awks, I'm pretty sure he's lucky to be still having sex after marriage, I doubt he'd want to jeopardize that being getting her pregnant again
penguinazul 13
You'd think they'd be using a better form of birth control than just condoms if they're married. Isn't that why they make things like Mirena?
mdwilde 7
Not everyone likes the idea of conceiving and flushing the child out with an IUD. There's a reason the AMA changed conception from fertilization to implantation. Otherwise things like IUDs and hormonal contraception wouldn't be able to be called contraception, but abortefacient.
Natalle11 6
If she didn't want a kid, she should have practiced abstinence.
hateevryone 15
She should've practiced abstinence. Now she's gonna have to deal with the consequences. Too bad.
joshieehd 6
Theres always those trolls who say "it definately does" !
khaya 9
Who wants gravy? Just became unacceptable table talk.