Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)
Miss_Michaela 10
Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.
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Comments (176)
deefan101 11
your mom is probably right! you never know! ;)
emilyk123 0
lmfao!!!!
dillies 3
and thats when you say im a lesbian or say its because i have a lot of experience...either one would of made a scene.
iPhilosophy 0
your moms a total bro
rishabmukherjee 0
ask her "jealous much?". to be fair though, at least she has a sense of humor.
MRukkus 5
I dun get it
xXSillyLoveXx 0
Oh, Boners. Admit it, you just wanted to set her up on that one.
LilysTillie 7
classy
iloveyouchung 0
I don't get it...
magentaballoon15 8
I hope your being sarcastic
Karma_apoc 8
Does she know you don't actually blow? Poor dad... unless she meant your lung span.