Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)
Miss_Michaela 10
Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.
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Comments (176)
matt0794 1
nothing to do with this fml but your picture is a win.
MrXerxes5 6
Lol. like mother like daughter c;
ThisRandomChild 0
Thats a win and u know it
JPEG7 12
well, considering you don't blow on a guys dick like a balloon...
MovingOn09 0
I would have winked and said i already do. hopefully the friends were hot.
THEmuffinpan 0
Go ahead and blow on some guys junk like you're blowing a balloon. See how far that gets you lol
kialuvsyoo 3
Well, no disrespect but she's right. It helps to have strong lips ;)
rjflores 0
be thankful.
skatergirl33 0
for what?!
Pigpen181 3
Maybe she thinks you'll be hooking up with Bozo the Clown because if some chick starts blowing on my junk.....I know I'm looking at a amateur
hpdc 0
are you 12?
chimcharx3 15
I wish my mom was like that :c