Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)
Miss_Michaela 10
Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.
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Comments (176)
CelinaRenee 0
Except...when they call it a "********" it really doesn't involve any blowing. I'm not sure how happy you could make a man just by blowing on him..
phatdaddy62 23
not very
just_a_dude_ 0
Idk, it'd be way better if you were able to suck a glass bottle inside out. Juuuust sayin.
phatdaddy62 23
hmmmm. balloon animal **********. safe sex built in.
babycakess10 0
well maybe she thought you were into your brother's friends and tried to help you out on your game.. not much of a fml.
OhHeySlogan 4
I fail to see the issue here.
thomas357 0
same
RipperRoo 0
Take the joke for what it is a joke. Not a fml
Mauskau 36
But that's not how you do it :
RosiePosie0912 0
because you have a big lung capacity?..
Liddo_Me_12 0
that's funny you shouldn't be ashamed!!!
rainport 0
wats wrong wif that??