Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full skit where "Maxie" killed "Nathanial." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
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Top comments
TheUglyBassist 0
and how exactly was he killed?
tashbash 0
haha that actually sounds really cute
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Comments (165)
Dagnabbit 0
You don't think this is hilarious?
mikeylikesit 0
This sounded fine until it turned into a biblical tragedy
lovethatpanda 0
My ex named his penis Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.... creativity points, maybe?
TehLolcat 0
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, not creative. Your ex took that from the show "How I Met Your Mother".
BadLuckTuck 0
My friend named mine Zach and Cody. At least yours have better names.
JoeDaddy92 0
nerd time. sounds like 2 characters from castlevania : circle of the moon. Nathan and Maxim. just changed around a bit. wow i sound like a nerd.
me_chibi 0
i used to do that with my gf.
Alice_laughed 13
That just sounds funny to me.
ILoveSouthPark6 4
lol, thats funny. i would be laughing
arcobaleno720 0
My boyfriend pretends my boobs are a couple of stuck-up racist white chicks, and my ****** is a really ghetto black girl. You can just imagine how that goes down...