Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML
Wow. Really people? It's not like the Grandfather was asking for a five or ten minute job- what OP describes would have taken hours, possibly even days, and as the post proves the job is dangerous. Hoarders also tend to have personality disorders that make them not the easiest people to be around, and sometimes outright dangerous and abusive.
Also, for all we know, the Grandfather offered the money for the job. It in fact sounds like that was the case, or at least like the grandfather never intended to follow through on paying OP. Which is a really dick move from anyone, but especially family. It's a really common (and abusive/toxic) tactic for people to say they'll pay someone to do a task, set up said task to be impossible, and withhold payment for the job not being done.
OP's grandfather isn't just a grandfather. He's a hoarder. It's not the same as doing him a favour, like mowing the lawn or cleaning out a kitchen cupboard. This is next level shit. As far as I know, hoarders tend to shut people out and are sometimes hostile because they are emotionally connected to their stuff, so the grandfather probably bribed OP to help him. OP probably kept the grandfather at arm's length, but the grandfather wanted help and OP probably saw that as the grandfather's desire to change, so OP helped out, and the cash was just an extra good thing. 'Twas manipulative and mean of the grandfather though, I think. But of course I don't know. Maybe I'm reading into this too much.
His grandfather is a hoarder (assuming OP isn't exaggerating and this is the true state of affairs). Hoarders suffer from mental illness, such as OCD, PTSD, or depression. Taking advantage of his grandfather's mental illness can't be excused.
That isn't taking advantage of his mental illness. From the way it's sounds, OP didn't ask to be paid, the grandfather offered. You're not taking advantage of someone by accepting something they offered you. And I'm sorry but OP deserves to be paid in this case. Hoarders' houses are often filthy to the point of being a health hazard, and dangerous from the piles of stuff. OP gave his time and effort putting himself in a risky situation to help clean up someone else's mess, he deserves to be reimbursed for that, even from family, even if they have a mental illness.
The way I see it, the grandfather was the one that took advantage of OP. Both of them went in knowing OP was going to be paid, OP did the work, but he got hurt from his grandfather's mess, and the grandfather refused to pay him. OP did his work and didn't get reimbursed for it when it was already decided on, the grandfather gained something and didn't give in return. That's basically the definition of taking advantage of someone.
Wow. Really people? It's not like the Grandfather was asking for a five or ten minute job- what OP describes would have taken hours, possibly even days, and as the post proves the job is dangerous. Hoarders also tend to have personality disorders that make them not the easiest people to be around, and sometimes outright dangerous and abusive.
Also, for all we know, the Grandfather offered the money for the job. It in fact sounds like that was the case, or at least like the grandfather never intended to follow through on paying OP. Which is a really dick move from anyone, but especially family. It's a really common (and abusive/toxic) tactic for people to say they'll pay someone to do a task, set up said task to be impossible, and withhold payment for the job not being done.
The post said his grandfather refused to pay him, meaning he was expecting his grandfather to pay for his help.
Maybe it's just me, but you help family - especially elders going through a hard time - you don't profit from it.
Because a hoarders situation is dangerous, both from the uncleanliness, and structural integrity of the piles of things, and it takes a lot of time and effort. OP is going out of his way and putting himself at risk by helping his grandfather clean up his own mess. He deserves to get paid for that. This goes beyond just helping, a hoarders situation isn't just a simple chore like mopping the floor or cleaning the bathroom, it's an entire job, and you get paid for a job, even from family.
I can see the point that cleaning out OP's grandfather's stuff probably required a lot of work, but if it's someone you're really close to, I'd say helping for the sake of helping is the right thing to do.
Just like if OP needed money and his grandfather could have lent him some, he wouldn't be right if he used the opportunity and refused to give OP the money unless OP provided a service. It works both ways.
Point is, would you expect the grandfather to pay OP if OP came over to listen to gramps rant about his problems? No, it's just a kind thing to do. Same deal here, sometimes you should just help people without expecting a reward.
That said, OP's relationship with his grandfather may be the kind where there's no love or care, just a formality.
species4872 20
#18 If you want self respect it does make him right and the better person.
For anyone that can't do something for family without getting paid deserves pity, for they indeed must lead a shallow and selfish existence.
Did this happen within the first hour or was it after you've already done a lot? Hoarders are most likely unorganized as well and coming from a hoarders home, the amount of stuff usually cause dangerous conditions.. Not a job for the clumsy sometimes.
Top comments
GhostFox 34
Wow. Really people? It's not like the Grandfather was asking for a five or ten minute job- what OP describes would have taken hours, possibly even days, and as the post proves the job is dangerous. Hoarders also tend to have personality disorders that make them not the easiest people to be around, and sometimes outright dangerous and abusive. Also, for all we know, the Grandfather offered the money for the job. It in fact sounds like that was the case, or at least like the grandfather never intended to follow through on paying OP. Which is a really dick move from anyone, but especially family. It's a really common (and abusive/toxic) tactic for people to say they'll pay someone to do a task, set up said task to be impossible, and withhold payment for the job not being done.
lameuser 23
Your gramps is a hoarder. I imagine he'd be stingy with money anyway
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Comments (31)
lameuser 23
Your gramps is a hoarder. I imagine he'd be stingy with money anyway
Schwuppdiwupp 13
Why would you help grampa for money? Sorry for your nose though :(
ELoni_fml 25
So you need to get paid to help your own grandfather?
J352SAURUS 30
OP's grandfather isn't just a grandfather. He's a hoarder. It's not the same as doing him a favour, like mowing the lawn or cleaning out a kitchen cupboard. This is next level shit. As far as I know, hoarders tend to shut people out and are sometimes hostile because they are emotionally connected to their stuff, so the grandfather probably bribed OP to help him. OP probably kept the grandfather at arm's length, but the grandfather wanted help and OP probably saw that as the grandfather's desire to change, so OP helped out, and the cash was just an extra good thing. 'Twas manipulative and mean of the grandfather though, I think. But of course I don't know. Maybe I'm reading into this too much.
Nats4444 11
His grandfather is a hoarder (assuming OP isn't exaggerating and this is the true state of affairs). Hoarders suffer from mental illness, such as OCD, PTSD, or depression. Taking advantage of his grandfather's mental illness can't be excused.
InfiniteSunshine 32
That isn't taking advantage of his mental illness. From the way it's sounds, OP didn't ask to be paid, the grandfather offered. You're not taking advantage of someone by accepting something they offered you. And I'm sorry but OP deserves to be paid in this case. Hoarders' houses are often filthy to the point of being a health hazard, and dangerous from the piles of stuff. OP gave his time and effort putting himself in a risky situation to help clean up someone else's mess, he deserves to be reimbursed for that, even from family, even if they have a mental illness. The way I see it, the grandfather was the one that took advantage of OP. Both of them went in knowing OP was going to be paid, OP did the work, but he got hurt from his grandfather's mess, and the grandfather refused to pay him. OP did his work and didn't get reimbursed for it when it was already decided on, the grandfather gained something and didn't give in return. That's basically the definition of taking advantage of someone.
GhostFox 34
Wow. Really people? It's not like the Grandfather was asking for a five or ten minute job- what OP describes would have taken hours, possibly even days, and as the post proves the job is dangerous. Hoarders also tend to have personality disorders that make them not the easiest people to be around, and sometimes outright dangerous and abusive. Also, for all we know, the Grandfather offered the money for the job. It in fact sounds like that was the case, or at least like the grandfather never intended to follow through on paying OP. Which is a really dick move from anyone, but especially family. It's a really common (and abusive/toxic) tactic for people to say they'll pay someone to do a task, set up said task to be impossible, and withhold payment for the job not being done.
r1has 28
Well that sounds like a slick situation you got yourself into. Sorry I had to. Hope you feel better OP
stryder9090 28
Watch your step, sonny boy. FYL
Nats4444 11
Why are you charging your grandfather to help him?!
J352SAURUS 30
Wut.
Nats4444 11
The post said his grandfather refused to pay him, meaning he was expecting his grandfather to pay for his help. Maybe it's just me, but you help family - especially elders going through a hard time - you don't profit from it.
extremereviews 26
As multiple others pointed out in comments above, recovering from hoarding is a long and daunting process that requires weeks of work
Nats4444 11
Still wondering why he wants payment for helping his grandfather...
InfiniteSunshine 32
Because a hoarders situation is dangerous, both from the uncleanliness, and structural integrity of the piles of things, and it takes a lot of time and effort. OP is going out of his way and putting himself at risk by helping his grandfather clean up his own mess. He deserves to get paid for that. This goes beyond just helping, a hoarders situation isn't just a simple chore like mopping the floor or cleaning the bathroom, it's an entire job, and you get paid for a job, even from family.
Nats4444 11
Not the way I was brought up. Sorry for OP's grandfather.
hoosierholla 17
Just because that's how you were brought up doesn't mean you are right or the better person.
fsomelife 26
I can see the point that cleaning out OP's grandfather's stuff probably required a lot of work, but if it's someone you're really close to, I'd say helping for the sake of helping is the right thing to do. Just like if OP needed money and his grandfather could have lent him some, he wouldn't be right if he used the opportunity and refused to give OP the money unless OP provided a service. It works both ways. Point is, would you expect the grandfather to pay OP if OP came over to listen to gramps rant about his problems? No, it's just a kind thing to do. Same deal here, sometimes you should just help people without expecting a reward. That said, OP's relationship with his grandfather may be the kind where there's no love or care, just a formality.
species4872 20
#18 If you want self respect it does make him right and the better person. For anyone that can't do something for family without getting paid deserves pity, for they indeed must lead a shallow and selfish existence.
chirstinap325 23
Did this happen within the first hour or was it after you've already done a lot? Hoarders are most likely unorganized as well and coming from a hoarders home, the amount of stuff usually cause dangerous conditions.. Not a job for the clumsy sometimes.
homtravel 10
A real hoarder wouldn't allow anyone to clear his junk even if he was paid
sandman676 20
Why wouldn't you just help him for free