Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML
Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend has severe dog phobia, and a dog off its lead ran up to him in a car park. He panicked and tried to jump into the car, but the door hit it in the head and it started fitting and seizing. About three people called the police and the dog's owner broke our car window. FML
Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML
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Top comments
omgshaylaaa 0
it should read more like: Today, my mommy left me and my puppy in the car while she ran into the store. Seconds later a scary man came up to the car trying to break in. He scared me so badly I gripped my puppy for dear life and shat myself. FML.
nicesprites 4
maybe look inside the car first. the kid probably pissed himself
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Comments (97)
stro88 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahaha. I think him and the dog ished their pants. parents should leave animals and pets in the car.
iMOTHERHUMPERi 0
please, please dont breed
unidentified_sta 5
For once one of your comments actually amused me, that and how it is not moderated yet.
iMOTHERHUMPERi 0
im glad that youre amused. my soul purpose in live
dudeitsdanny 10
Soul or sole? Cause I feel like both can sort of fit, if you really try...
ClickMyPicture 0
What is this I don't even...
Qluz 3
someone please illustrate this! and make it cute!
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
do all FMLs now fall into the category of wrong cars,bitching 16 year olds and oversensitive girlfriends?
OverweightNinja 0
No, there is far more depth in these fml's. let's discuss the hidden meanings behind the words used & the issues at hand.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
yea
BahahahLOL 0
*******
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
sigh... what did I say?
1d1r1a1g1o1n 0
Icon and comment win combo.
grandpaearthling 2
hey blues Qluz I love your pic. I'd give grandma that statue for Christmas just to see the look on everyones face when she unwrapped the gift.
stro88 6
lol there was a typo in this comment, but it makes me laugh how many people begin their troll patrols. noobs.
nicesprites 4
maybe look inside the car first. the kid probably pissed himself
LosAngelesSon 8
And you're probably right!
sarinasusu 2
Aww I agree and I moderated this one.!
Miss_Unique1031 6
why does she need to look inside the car first?! she thought it was her car.
iMOTHERHUMPERi 0
i came. hard.
DocBastard 40
Wow. Little boys and animals do it for you, eh? You need some serious psychiatric help, friend. That's the nice way of saying "You are completely ****** up in the head and should be locked in a rubber room where you can never have any meaningful contact with society, you sick ****." But I would never say that.
iMOTHERHUMPERi 0
thank god you didnt. that woulda hurt my feelings
tttiffany 0
I'm pretty aure that was a joke. like; Funny or "Haw-Haw" don't get too worked up 16
iMOTHERHUMPERi 0
this is a troll feeding zone. get yo no feeding zone signs outa here
brokenbitch13 0
me too. out my penis. even though im a girl ;)
DocBastard 40
Motherhumper, admitting to being a troll is one of the fastest way to get yourself banned.
OverweightNinja 0
being banned is just like roping up a noose, it's the end of your life.
RKftw68 0
you haven't been on the internet too long have you
Frenteliman2 0
You must have genitalia the size of a hippopotamus then, good for you.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hippopatamoose? Mine are ******* blue whales!
edelmaniac11 0
you have no idea how fun it is #15
IgETbANNED 0
No!!!The size of a hentai pornstar!
Wasterni 0
now 8 that's just impractical I mean it would dragging on the ground as you walk. you would have to get a sled for that thing
maz255 10
36 win and wierd
tencentsakiss 19
64: A sled would not be practical. Instead, they should watch the episode of south park where they all get testicular cancer and use their balls as those sit and bounce toys and copy.
quesidias 0
lol
iliveinthesky_fml 0
You should've called diphus(sp?).
jade567 0
Crystal Castles. :D
omgshaylaaa 0
tea cup means just what it sounds like- a tiny little doggie :)
wombledn 0
how do so many ppl get their vehicles confused with other ppls vehicles?
Twistedsoul_fml 0
wate untill drive than you will see
yazmi_09 3
I've never confused my car with someone elses lol
kindlystfupls 0
I drive and have for like 11 years and I haven't tried getting into, or gotten into, someone elses car.
debatingalways 0
there is such thing. they're usually about the size of a baseball. and I've come close to doing that same thing as well. I used to know my truck by my parking pass but now It stands out tremendously thanks to a pole I was a bit too close to last weekend. Fml.
wombledn 0
how do so many ppl get their vehicles confused with other ppls vehicles?
omgshaylaaa 0
it should read more like: Today, my mommy left me and my puppy in the car while she ran into the store. Seconds later a scary man came up to the car trying to break in. He scared me so badly I gripped my puppy for dear life and shat myself. FML.
wombledn 0
true dat
sillybilly98 0
haha I agree!(: