Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
darlinjai 18
Maybe you need to switch things up a bit...
ThatPlankton 15
Did she figure that out by your socks?
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Comments (112)
kingsian 15
Damn OP switch it up a little bit. If you be to predictable it's easy from them to mess your "session" up.
beannlove 7
its easier for them to interrupt when they dont know its happening.. if they know whats going on chances are they are more than likely going to leave OP alone, as im sure it would be just as embarrassing for his parents to walk in on him as it would for him to be walked in on
kingsian 15
That maybe true unless he has messed up parents who would think its a joke to interrupt him
igive 29
Just do it when they aren't home.
shorty6823 28
The urge to do it doesn't always hit when they're home alone, unfortunately.
perdix 31
So, if you are taking care of business in your room, why are you wasting water in the shower? If you were jacking off in the shower, the water usage would be an "investment."
poccocurantes 7
He must be catholic and it's so hard to get clean afterwards.
ideasrule 13
Seriously, why are you NOT doing it in the shower? The shower erases all evidence, and unless someone installs a video camera, nobody will ever know.
stewpididiot 11
#16 ...you obviously don't pay the bills where you live... 1/2 hour + showers every day cost a lot of money
Lionesse 15
Well. Guess this means you have to change your ways... Like a different place, now that your parents have caught on to your.. uhm.. extracurricular :)
fmlforreal92 8
Ahhhh that sucks dude.
SansVostro 7
guess u need a new routine
Shadow_Phantom 26
Nothing to be ashamed of, OP.. but FYL.
abu4u 26
Mother knows best!
PenguinBitch 44
The bear told her! "We toys can see everything. So play nice".